Youth unemployment is increasing in many countries in the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it?

#youth #unemployment #countries #world #measures

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The increasing number of unemployed

youth

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has become a major problem in today's society. There are many causes regarding

this

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issue. One of them is that many human jobs are being replaced by

technology

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. The best solution to

this

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problem is for the government to open more

job

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opportunities

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where

technology

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is not required. First of all, one of the main causes of unemployment is the development and advancement of

technology

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Some jobs do not require human willpower but

instead

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use AI.

Furthermore

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, some human jobs are being replaced by advanced technologies,

such

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as robots.

For instance

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, in Japan, a sum of hotels use robots as their hotel receptionist.

In addition

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, in some of these hotels, humans are nowhere to be found

instead

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customers are seen with many machines and robots. If

this

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goes on,

then

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, the

youth

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unemployment rate will progressively increase. To solve

this

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ongoing problem, I think the best solution is for the government to open more

job

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opportunities

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where human willpower is needed,

such

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as in business and economic fields. The government should open more

job

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opportunities

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this

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field since it is not very hard for the

youth

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to learn.

Moreover

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this

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field

also

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requires some human intelligence

such

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as planning.

For example

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, a lot of fresh graduates start their own businesses since it is not very difficult and it is very well-paid. Others

also

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started to enter the investing world.

This

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not only decreases the rate of unemployment but

also

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grows the country's economy.

To conclude

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, many

youth

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are unemployed because of the existence of

technology

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However

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this

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issue can be solved by opening more

job

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opportunities

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for the

youth

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where their intelligence is needed.

Submitted by nafisa.sputri on Mon Aug 19 2024

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task achievement

Consider elaborating more on each point to deepen your argument. For example, further explaining how technological advancements specifically impact various job sectors could make your argumentation stronger.

task achievement

Adding more real-world examples or data can help substantiate your main points and provide a more convincing argument. For example, citing more statistics or studies related to youth unemployment could be beneficial.

coherence cohesion

Some of the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Try using a variety of cohesive devices to link your ideas more clearly. For instance, incorporating phrases like 'Another significant factor...' or 'Moreover...' can enhance the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph sticks closely to one main idea and that idea is well-developed. This would increase the cohesion and overall clarity of your essay.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly sets up the issue and your thesis statement offers a specific solution, which is commendable.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reaffirms the solution, providing a satisfactory closure to the essay.

logical structure

You have a logical structure that guides the reader through your essay, from identifying the problem to proposing a solution.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas are generally clear and relevant to the topic, making it easy to follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Educational mismatch
2. Labor market
3. Economic downturn
4. Recessions
5. Automation
6. Technological innovation
7. Displace traditional jobs
8. Catch-22 situation
9. Outsourcing
10. Labor market policies
11. Minimum wages
12. Job protection laws

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Youth unemployment is increasing in many countries in the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it?

Your opinion

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Due to the influence of worldwide media such as television and computers, the gap between cultures is decreasing. The introduction of this global culture is a great benefit to the world. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (such as the environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Schools are no longer needed because students could find so much information on the Internet and study at home. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Discuss why it is important to open a bank account. Do you think it is safe to keep all your money in a bank? Which payment method do you prefer?