Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some argue that by adding more areas to play sports,
people
’s health
can be improved, while others argue that other actions are needed. People
think that when people
have easy access to sports facilities, they tend to exercise frequently and that their health
will improve. I believe that educating public
about healthy eating will yield the expected improvement in the Correct article usage
the public
health
of public
.
Add an article
the public
People
tend to go and play a sport
with their friends,
if the Remove the comma
apply
sport
facility is closer to where they live and work. Because they do not need to waste time commuting to those places and if they play frequently, their Change the noun form
sports
health
will have a positive impact. For instance
, a study found that,
there was a 5% increase in playing badmintonRemove the comma
apply
,
when the badminton court is placed within walking distance. Remove the comma
apply
However
, in my opinion, people
tend to play less because of the
busy lifestyle.
Change the word
their
On the other hand
, it is thought that participating in healthy eating workshops have a positive impact on the health
of people
. This
action can reduce the amount of salt and oil consumed from fast food and this
will reduce the risk of heart attacks. For instance
, a study found that,
participants who attended a workshop on healthy eating, reduced their fast food intake by 2%. I believe Remove the comma
apply
this
thought is preferable because changing the mindset of the
society about the consumption of fast food, will help to improve public Correct article usage
apply
health
.
In conclusion, although
creating increased
number of Add an article
an increased
sport
areas, give more opportunities to play and improve the Fix the agreement mistake
sports
health
, in my opinion, because of the busy lifestyles, people
do not play a sport
. This
has a negative effect on the
public Correct article usage
apply
health
and alternate actions such
as educating the public about healthy eating will have a more positive effect on the health
of the people
.Submitted by anuradhiw on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite