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Writing Samples
Band 7

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries . Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

#crime #rate #teenagers #countries
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It is often said that young criminals have risen significantly in many nations in the
last
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 few years.
To begin
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 with, I would argue that the two main factors of
this
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 tendency are poverty and lack of education.
First
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 and foremost, poverty has played a pivotal role in
this
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.
For example
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, in many developing
countries
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 youngsters can not work, due to the high unemployment rate, which results in committing crimes for a living. Apart from that, in those ,
countries
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 these kids do not have access to higher education or even to high schools.
This
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 has a detrimental effect on their future because they do not get taught what is wrong and right as well as they remain uneducated. So, many of those uneducated teens become thieves in order to feed themselves and their families. It is important that action be taken in order to combat these problems.
Firstly
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, developed
countries
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 with stronger economies could build schools, in order to develop the educational system in those
countries
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 and ensure that the vast majority of children do not have a lack education.
Secondly
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, because we cannot tackle poverty, even if millions of euros are invested, we can open our borders to those teenagers and find them jobs.
This
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 will give them the opportunity to work and have human rights.
Also
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, if
this
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 action succeeds, these young people will have the chance to help their relatives as well, mainly by sending them money or food. To sum up, I am of the belief that, only by the concerted effort of governments and citizens can
this
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 issue be eliminated.
Finally
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, the solutions I mentioned, I think
that is
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 possible to happen in the near future.
Submitted by rouxzdeep on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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