Some people believe that sports competition are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore youth should be banned from participating in sports competition. Do you agree or disagree?

Sports
are undeniably the most important area for many young
people
.
However
, a large group of
people
still believe that participating in championships is harmful to youth’s growth,
while
others think that the pressure of competition is necessary for their future success. From my perspective, young
people
should be encouraged to seize the chance to improve themselves by competing in
sports
against their peers.
First,
they help build determination and goals in
children
. When facing competition, not only do young
people
have the chance to enhance their skills in the sport, but they
also
develop their ability to solve problems.
For example
, basketball players can not reach their full potential without playing against others repetitively.
Moreover
,
competitions
encourage
children
to live healthier lives.
This
leads to them becoming more responsible, and disciplined, and having meaningful goals in life.
Secondly
, denying
children
the opportunity to compete against each other in
sports
deprives them of practical experiences and problem-solving skills, which are essential for handling responsibilities as they grow. Logical thinking is important in every area of life, which can be developed through playing games like chess or checkers.
For instance
,
children
who play chess tend to do better in math and critical thinking than their peers.
Therefore
, banning
children
from
sports
competitions
makes them weaker not only physically but
also
mentally. In conclusion, the benefits of young
people
participating in
sports
competitions
are crucial for their
overall
growth.
Therefore
, the government and educational institutions need to organize more events and
competitions
to foster better future outcomes.
Submitted by trungnh283 on

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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, offering clear and comprehensive ideas on why youth should participate in sports competitions. You could further enhance the argument by addressing potential counterarguments, such as ways to manage the emotional stress associated with competition.
coherence cohesion
To transition smoothly between ideas and ensure a logical flow, consider using more transitional expressions or linking words. For example, when moving from the point about skill enhancement to the benefits for health, phrases like 'In addition to skill development...' can be helpful.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Each main point is clearly supported with specific examples, enhancing the argument's credibility.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses the topic prompt, discussing both the benefits and addressing the notion of emotional stress in a balanced manner.

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