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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.

Many think that college and university graduates will have a successful
career
Use synonyms
 in the future and
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 says it is good to get a
job
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 after high
school
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, getting
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
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 after high
school
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
 can give early start-up but for the long term
success
Add a comma
,success
show examples
 college or university degree is mandatory for
everyone
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 to
shape
Use synonyms
 their
career
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 in a right way. Many argue that it is better to get a
job
Use synonyms
 after high
school
Use synonyms
study
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 because they find work is more important to earn rather than just
study
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.
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Everyone
Replace the word
Every one
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
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 their individual choices and
accordingly
Linking Words
 they
shape
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
career
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. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, many people join their family
business
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 during high
school
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 vacation or get a
job
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 to gain a short term experience and after
this
Linking Words
 period of
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 they find work is more important to earn well
instead
Linking Words
planning
Change preposition
of planning
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 to
study
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further
Linking Words
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many have set
business
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 plans or startups which they want
to begin
Linking Words
 after high
school
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study
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 because they don't want to do
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job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 all their
career
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 but
set-up
Correct your spelling
set up
show examples
 a
business
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 in the future.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that college and university degrees will allow
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to enter
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fastest growing professional world because nowadays
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
show examples
 is the most important thing to get
Add an article
a well
the well
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well packaged
Add a hyphen
well-packaged
show examples
job
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, to get a
job
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 in big companies like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 apple, Tata consultancy, Google, etc. bachelor or master degree is the basic
requirements
Fix the agreement mistake
requirement
show examples
 for
everyone
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, graduate studies will open up both the ways for
everyone
Use synonyms
 who wants to get a good
job
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 and for those who
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to start a
business
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 in the future because it gives academic skills and field projects as well which can help people to boost field experience which can lead them to
shape
Use synonyms
 their
career
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 in a proper way. To sum up, despite the
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of starting a
job
Use synonyms
 after high
school
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study
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, people should engage more in
academic
Add an article
the academic
show examples
 field to
shape
Use synonyms
 their
career
Use synonyms
 and by doing that they can achieve their long term goals and better living lifestyle.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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