Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults while other say children should stay at their parents house as long as possible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #children #parents #house #adults

Some people think that children should leave their families once they grow up, while some say that they should live with their fathers and mother. Living together may enjoy some kinds of benefit. I agree that

one

should live independently if

one

is capable to do so.

However

, they should live to take care of their beloved if necessary. On the

one

side, as a responsible son or daughter, they have the obligation to take care of the elderly member of the family. If their parents are old and sometimes absent-minded, children should stay with them to help them manage trivial things.

For example

, to see a doctor, to have body-check occasionally. Parents will feel affection and love. On the other side,

one

should explore himself after adolescence. They should not rely on the family which provides a comfort zone for them, providing a shelter to glow.

One

will unleash his potential if

one

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

in an adverse environment. They will learn to live without others' support. These help them grow up rapidly and easily merge to the society.

Besides

, after graduation from high school or university, they may soon set up their new families after marriage.

This

time is crucial for them to understand themselves. In conclusion, living independently doesn't mean losing connection with their parents. Frequently keeping in touch is the key.

This

not only helps

one

grow-up

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

Change preposition

up but

show examples

also

reduce conflict.

Submitted by andrewdcw on Tue Jan 25 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults while other say children should stay at their parents house as long as possible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

eople believe that Generation Z (1997-2007) are more dishonest than previous generationsWhat are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehical will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

This one beby, The world’s air pollution levels are rising year on year. What are the most pressing causes and effects of this disturbing trend?