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Band 4.5

Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults while other say children should stay at their parents house as long as possible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #children #parents #house #adults
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Some people think that children should leave their families once they grow up, while some say that they should live with their fathers and mother. Living together may enjoy some kinds of benefit. I agree that
one
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 should live independently if
one
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 is capable to do so.
However
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, they should live to take care of their beloved if necessary. On the
one
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 side, as a responsible son or daughter, they have the obligation to take care of the elderly member of the family. If their parents are old and sometimes absent-minded, children should stay with them to help them manage trivial things.
For example
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, to see a doctor, to have body-check occasionally. Parents will feel affection and love. On the other side,
one
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 should explore himself after adolescence. They should not rely on the family which provides a comfort zone for them, providing a shelter to glow.
One
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 will unleash his potential if
one
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live
Replace the word
lives
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 in an adverse environment. They will learn to live without others' support. These help them grow up rapidly and easily merge to the society.
Besides
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, after graduation from high school or university, they may soon set up their new families after marriage.
This
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 time is crucial for them to understand themselves. In conclusion, living independently doesn't mean losing connection with their parents. Frequently keeping in touch is the key.
This
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 not only helps
one
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 grow-up
,
Remove the comma
apply
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but
Change preposition
up but
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also
Linking Words
 reduce conflict.
Submitted by andrewdcw on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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