Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults while other say children should stay at their parents house as long as possible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #children #parents #house #adults

Some people think that children should leave their families once they grow up, while some say that they should live with their fathers and mother. Living together may enjoy some kinds of benefit. I agree that

one

should live independently if

one

is capable to do so.

However

, they should live to take care of their beloved if necessary. On the

one

side, as a responsible son or daughter, they have the obligation to take care of the elderly member of the family. If their parents are old and sometimes absent-minded, children should stay with them to help them manage trivial things.

For example

, to see a doctor, to have body-check occasionally. Parents will feel affection and love. On the other side,

one

should explore himself after adolescence. They should not rely on the family which provides a comfort zone for them, providing a shelter to glow.

One

will unleash his potential if

one

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

in an adverse environment. They will learn to live without others' support. These help them grow up rapidly and easily merge to the society.

Besides

, after graduation from high school or university, they may soon set up their new families after marriage.

This

time is crucial for them to understand themselves. In conclusion, living independently doesn't mean losing connection with their parents. Frequently keeping in touch is the key.

This

not only helps

one

grow-up

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

Change preposition

up but

show examples

also

reduce conflict.

Submitted by andrewdcw on Tue Jan 25 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
The most important aim of sciece should be improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree this statement ?
I agree with the most significant purpose of science should be upradge life of the world's population. Let me explain my opinion based on three factors. In other wpord, I say have science can affect global threats such as air pollution, the economy and healthy.
6.5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In recent years, the usage of smartphones among young people has increased significantly, and many of them spend hours daily on their phones. This essay aims to explore the reasons behind this. It also outlines that it is a negative development.One reason why children spend many hours on their smartphones is that they have easy access to social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, etc. In part, they want to connect with their family and peers on those platforms, where they can share their daily experiences. For instance, international students who live across the country to study use their smartphones to video call with their relatives. This can be positive in some ways.Another reason why children spend many hours on their smartphones is the availability of entertainment options. Children can download games, music, and movies on their smartphones and spend several hours watching, listening, or playing.Considering the effect of this trend, it can be harmful to a great extent, as ch...
4
band
When you learn a foreign language, all four skills（listening, reading, speaking and writing) are equally important. To what extent do you agree or disagree？
Nowadays, there are a lot of people who think that the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison.
<4
band
Motorways help people travel quickly and cover long distances but they also cause problems. What are the problems of motorway and what solutions are there?
These days, many individuals preferred two wheels vehicle in terms of faster and convenient. However, there are several problems contribute to this matter, as well as solutions to address them.
5.5
band
In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Today, people easily buy various products in a supermarket. I think it was fascinating innovation. it provides consumers with more variety and choice, allowing access to a wide range of products regardless of season or location. this improves cultural variety and also kind of diet that we can eat.

Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults while other say children should stay at their parents house as long as possible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The most important aim of sciece should be improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree this statement ?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

When you learn a foreign language, all four skills（listening, reading, speaking and writing) are equally important. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Motorways help people travel quickly and cover long distances but they also cause problems. What are the problems of motorway and what solutions are there?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.