Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults while other say children should stay at their parents house as long as possible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #children #parents #house #adults

It is argued that

parents

should ask their offspring to leave their

home

when they attain the age of adulthood,

while

others say that

parents

should allow their

children

to live with them as much time as their

children

want.

While

living alone

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

people

more responsible, I believe that there should be no obligation to leave their

parents

’

home

this

will give

people

time to build their career. On the one hand, the supporters of the prior viewpoint say that leaving

home

at an early age makes them more responsible for their actions.

This

is because when they live alone, they have to make daily decisions by themselves, and these life experiences help them to learn quickly about life without any aid.

For example

, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Western countries,

parents

ask their

children

to leave their homes because they want their offspring to live independently

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

thus

making them responsible.

However

, I do not agree with

this

school of thought because of the reason elucidated below.

On the other hand

, the advocates of the latter viewpoint opine that living with

parents

helps

people

to focus on their careers.

This

due to

the fact that when

children

are studying in higher education, they need to focus on their studies.

While

living at

parents

Change noun form

parents'

parent's

show examples

home

, they do not have to worry about the extra expenses

such

as house rents,

electricity

Correct word choice

and electricity

show examples

bills. To illustrate, my

parents

allowed me to stay at their

home

during my studies, and

therefore

, I was able to complete my higher education with flying colours and I have a lucrative career.

Therefore

, I believe that

this

school of thought is preferable because

people

can build their careers with their

parents

’ help. In conclusion,

although

living alone makes

people

more responsible, I believe that with

parents

’ assistance to stay at

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

home

people

can become successful.

Submitted by andrewdcw on Tue Jan 25 2022

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Task Response

Ensure that the essay addresses both views clearly and provides a balanced discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally good, but ensure that the ideas are organized in a more cohesive manner.

Lexical Resource

Expand the range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range

Use a wider variety of complex grammatical structures to demonstrate a more extensive range of grammatical control.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults while other say children should stay at their parents house as long as possible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Having more international sporting events may promote world peace. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.