Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults while other say children should stay at their parents house as long as possible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that
parents
Use synonyms
should ask their offspring to leave their
home
Use synonyms
when they attain the age of adulthood,
while
Linking Words
others say that
parents
Use synonyms
should allow their
children
Use synonyms
to live with them as much time as their
children
Use synonyms
want.
While
Linking Words
living alone
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
more responsible, I believe that there should be no obligation to leave their
parents
Use synonyms
home
Use synonyms
as
this
Linking Words
will give
people
Use synonyms
time to build their career. On the one hand, the supporters of the prior viewpoint say that leaving
home
Use synonyms
at an early age makes them more responsible for their actions.
This
Linking Words
is because when they live alone, they have to make daily decisions by themselves, and these life experiences help them to learn quickly about life without any aid.
For example
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Western countries,
parents
Use synonyms
ask their
children
Use synonyms
to leave their homes because they want their offspring to live independently
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
thus
Linking Words
making them responsible.
However
Linking Words
, I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
school of thought because of the reason elucidated below.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the advocates of the latter viewpoint opine that living with
parents
Use synonyms
helps
people
Use synonyms
to focus on their careers.
This
Linking Words
is
due to
Linking Words
the fact that when
children
Use synonyms
are studying in higher education, they need to focus on their studies.
While
Linking Words
living at
Use synonyms
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
home
Use synonyms
, they do not have to worry about the extra expenses
such
Linking Words
as house rents,
electricity
Correct word choice
and electricity
show examples
bills. To illustrate, my
parents
Use synonyms
allowed me to stay at their
home
Use synonyms
during my studies, and
therefore
Linking Words
, I was able to complete my higher education with flying colours and I have a lucrative career.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that
this
Linking Words
school of thought is preferable because
people
Use synonyms
can build their careers with their
parents
Use synonyms
’ help. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
living alone makes
people
Use synonyms
more responsible, I believe that with
parents
Use synonyms
’ assistance to stay at
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
home
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
can become successful.
Submitted by andrewdcw on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure that the essay addresses both views clearly and provides a balanced discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally good, but ensure that the ideas are organized in a more cohesive manner.
Lexical Resource
Expand the range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
Use a wider variety of complex grammatical structures to demonstrate a more extensive range of grammatical control.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: