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Band 3

In many countries paying things using mobile phone apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#countries #phone #apps #development
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
show examples
increasily
Correct your spelling
increasingly
 common to use mobile phone
apps
.
This
 essay will discuss the
increasingly
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
 use of
apps
 in mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 and
also
 will mention the advantages and disadvantages. In
general
Add a comma
,general
show examples
 app have more advantages than disadvantages if is well managed.  Currently, those
apps
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 our lives in so many ways; for
examplo
Correct your spelling
example
,
those app help
Change the determiner
that app help
show examples
 was
communicaty
Correct your spelling
communicating
communicate
 with others, individual have access to other culture,
also
 change the way people in general
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
learn and improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
access
Replace the word
accessibility
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 information. In
general
Add a comma
,general
show examples
 make people life easier.
However
this
beneficial
Replace the word
benefit
show examples
 come with consequences.  Social media,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand use
Correct your spelling
psychology
psicology
Add the comma(s)
,psicology
show examples
 to control and keep
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 as much as they can with
this
Change the determiner
this app
these apps
show examples
apps
, Tik
tok
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Tok
show examples
 for
exemplo
Correct your spelling
example
. The new generation will grow up with social anxiety, depression
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they will
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
loger
Correct your spelling
longer
 be able to socialize. Depression may
will
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
Teenages
Correct your spelling
Teenagers
Teenage
 and young adults may have social anxiety and depression, those individuals look at someone else life through
socia
Correct your spelling
social
 media's
compar
Correct your spelling
compare
 with
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own life.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
this
 teen, isolate
then
 In conclusion,
those app
Change the determiner
that app
those apps
show examples
 despite the disadvantages still
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more advantages to offer.
Submitted by Dricabacelaruk on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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