IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, face to face communication has decreased because it has come under the influence of social media such as Facebook, Telegram, Twitter,or Instagram. Do the benefits of this advancement outweigh its drawbacks?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that social
media
Use synonyms
 has had a significant impact on how
people
Use synonyms
 relate to each other. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall effect of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon has been positive or negative. While there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary, I personally believe that the drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 trend far outweigh its benefits. These disadvantages are twofold.
First
Linking Words
 of all, it is an indisputable fact that social
media
Use synonyms
 has deteriorated the level of self-confidence among its users. Long before the boom of social
media
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 met each other in special places and occasions
such
Linking Words
 as schools, universities, workplaces and parties. That being said, suitable
outfit
Fix the agreement mistake
outfits
show examples
, appealing gestures and outstanding oral skills would
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 played pivotal roles in initiating new connections. Nowadays,
however
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 try to find new connections while lying on the sofa with an untrimmed face.
Such
Linking Words
 accessibilities, inclined
people
Use synonyms
 to undermine mentioned principles of communication resulting in losing confidence when being
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 actual occasions. Take teenage Instagram influencers as vivid examples, they will not be able to socialize effectively and face major embarrassment, if they are deprived
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 their devices. More importantly, though, public health in communities whose members allot considerable hours to social
media
Use synonyms
 looks vulnerable. Using social
media
Use synonyms
 excessively
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has a tendency to
pulling
Wrong verb form
pull
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 towards sedentary activities rather than active lifestyles. Due to
diversity
Correct article usage
the diversity
show examples
 of social
media
Use synonyms
`s functions, one can cater to his or her needs via various applications. Even the most active sports trainer can record some videos and share
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 on Youtube, unlike the older times when they had to work several hours in the gym. Given the increasing trend, there is every likelihood that
people
Use synonyms
 would be more liable to suffer from ailments
such
Linking Words
 as high blood pressure and heart disease.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is evident that public health will be fraught with danger thanks to versatile social
media
Use synonyms
. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that sophisticated social
media
Use synonyms
 can be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a noticeable threat since it has worked to the detriment of self-confidence and public health.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: