IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One should never judge a person by external appearances. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

#judge #person #appearances #support
The supplied bar chart provides the information about
expenses
 of British citizens by the
age
 on vacations across the native country and abroad throughout the period of the year 2002. Over the conducted research, we can observe that British society, which the
age
 is in the range between 50 to 64 spends the most amount of money on abroad travels compared to the rest of the population. A more detailed look affords to infer that expenditures of these Britains on
such
 international trips are composed of £750.
However
, people embark to suspend their travels to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various worldwide destinations from the
age
 of 64 and
expenses
 have been dwindling substantially during the ageing process.
Moreover
, the 75 and over
age
 group spend lower than £250 of their annual budgets.
Thus
,
such
expenses
 incur the declining process in 3 times approximately
in contrast
 to the 50 to 64
age
 group.
Likewise
, representatives of the young generation, which
age
 is under 30 years
spends
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
slightly lower than £500 on abroad trips.
Also
 noteworthy is that expenditures on
such
 routes have been rising with the increasing
age
 and reach a peak by the
age
 of 50 years.
Nevertheless
, it can be spotted that the
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 area in the United Kingdom is not so common among the local society and
expenses
 consist of lower than £250.
Submitted by sunsistem123 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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