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Band 2.5

Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #schools #money #computers #teachers #wages
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
age
 of
people
 in Iceland with five
categories
 (0-14
years
 old, 15-24
years
 old, 25-54
years
 old, 55-64
years
 old, and 65 and over) for a decade from 1990 to 2020. Overall, the percentage of
people
 within the
age
 of 25-54
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 increased
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 to 2020.
On the other hand
 with
category
Correct article usage
the category
show examples
 of 15-24
years
 old and 55-64
years
 old experience
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 slight decrease over time. While the other
age
categories
 have been
fluctuate
Change the verb form
fluctuating
fluctuated
show examples
. According to the data given, the category of adult (25-54
years
 old) proportion has been steadily increased from around 30% in 1990 to almost 50% in 2020.
On the contrary
, the percentage of young
people
 (15-24
years
 old) experience a slight fall
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 to 2020 at around
10
Correct article usage
a 10
show examples
% decrease for the past 4 decades. Whereas, the teenager (category of 0-14
years
 old) has
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 decrease over time from around 20% to less than 20%. In terms of other
age
categories
, both older
people
 (65
years
 old and over) and senior
people
 (55-64
years
 old) proportion have
been fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
show examples
 with a tendency of slight fall. Both of those two
categories
 has been fluctuate between 10-15%
over
Correct your spelling
overtime
show examples
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 period given.
Submitted by Kusuman.retno on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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