IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #schools #money #computers #teachers #wages
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
age
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 of
people
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 in Iceland with five
categories
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 (0-14
years
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 old, 15-24
years
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 old, 25-54
years
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 old, 55-64
years
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 old, and 65 and over) for a decade from 1990 to 2020. Overall, the percentage of
people
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 within the
age
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 of 25-54
have
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has
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 increased
since
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from
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 1990 to 2020.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 with
category
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the category
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 of 15-24
years
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 old and 55-64
years
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 old experience
the
Correct article usage
a
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 slight decrease over time. While the other
age
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categories
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 have been
fluctuate
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fluctuating
fluctuated
show examples
. According to the data given, the category of adult (25-54
years
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 old) proportion has been steadily increased from around 30% in 1990 to almost 50% in 2020.
On the contrary
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, the percentage of young
people
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 (15-24
years
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 old) experience a slight fall
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 to 2020 at around
10
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a 10
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% decrease for the past 4 decades. Whereas, the teenager (category of 0-14
years
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 old) has
slight
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a slight
show examples
 decrease over time from around 20% to less than 20%. In terms of other
age
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categories
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, both older
people
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 (65
years
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 old and over) and senior
people
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 (55-64
years
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 old) proportion have
been fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
show examples
 with a tendency of slight fall. Both of those two
categories
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 has been fluctuate between 10-15%
over
Correct your spelling
overtime
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time
Correct article usage
the time
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 period given.
Submitted by Kusuman.retno on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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