Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It
is believe
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is believed
show examples
by some cultures that younger family
members
should be responsible for elders in the family by law once they no
loger
Correct your spelling
longer
have enough strength to look after themselves in both physically and mentally ways.
This
has become a controversial issue. From my point of view, I am disagreed with
this
idea and reckon it should not be made legal. The reasons for my argument will be explained
further
in the following paragraphs before the conclusion is reached. Some segments of society are thinking that it is a
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
job for descendants to take care of the elderly when they become physically and mentally weak.
However
, I strongly disagree with
this
, not with the fact that pupils
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
care of elders but with the belief that it should be made legal. I always think that it is a good deed for youth to look after their family
members
, but
this
should be an optional choice. Everyone
have
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has
show examples
their own rights to choose
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whether they want or do not want to do something.
Furthermore
, it is found by one of the surveys that some people, including young ages, are not ready to hold others' lives in
hands
Correct pronoun usage
their hands
show examples
because they are still struggling with their own lives. To illustrate
this
, think about a person who
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
all day and night but
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
surrounded by problems
such
as financial, working, and educational issues.
Therefore
, it would be best for these people to look after their family
members
when they are ready or it would
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
them more burden. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, even though some populations believe that the younger
members
of the family should be legally responsible for the elderly, I disagree with
this
and think that everyone must have
their
Change the word
the
show examples
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to choose.
Hence
, it should not be made as a legal law but should be an optional choice. The
offsprings
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offspring
show examples
must look after others when they think they are ready and do not have any other burden.
Submitted by creammicom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • filial piety
  • elder care
  • aging population
  • public resources
  • state welfare
  • financial burden
  • legal mandate
  • family dynamics
  • moral responsibility
  • residency
  • integrity
  • dependency
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