some people think government is responisble for looking after the elderly, others beleive that it should be family members. Who do you think should take responsibilty?

#people #government #responisble #beleive #members #responsibilty

Young

people

have so many necessities in school life and they need some free time to feel relaxed. Nowadays, shopping is the most preferred activity rather than sports and playing instruments for leisure

activities

. In my opinion, young

people

could train to find more beneficial

activities

. There are many reasons why shopping is the

most

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

favourite activity among teenagers.

Firstly

, online shopping has substituted shopping in stores day by day with the increasing use of credit cards.

In addition

, teenagers have the chance to shop without going to the stores and

also

they could return the product that they purchased.

Secondly

people

at young ages tend to describe themselves only with their appearances. The outfit is an important part of

this

description especially with the fact that social media has a great influence on our life.

As a result

, So many teenagers want to be admired for their fashionable clothes and looks. If they want to be fashionable and admirable, they have to go shopping frequently.

Lastly

, young

people

have a problem with emotional regülation with the effect of unstable hormones. When they experience an adverse life event, they need to distance the negative emotions and shopping lends assistance to do so.

Nevertheless

, young

people

are not successful in planning helpful

activities

and making logical decisions, they tend to be impulsive and

also

choose easy ways. They could be guided for

this

by parents and teachers. They could do sports like basketball, football and tennis.

In addition

, they could make a hobby like playing instruments and painting. They could spend their time doing more beneficial

activities

instead

of shopping. In conclusion, young

people

use shopping for leisure time

activities

. The reasons for

this

are the spread of online shopping, using shopping for emotion regülation strategy and feeling of being found desirable. In my opinion, young

people

could do more helpful

activities

like exercise and doing a hobby

beside

Correct your spelling

besides

show examples

shopping.

Submitted by evrim_bayrak60 on Thu Jan 27 2022

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think government is responisble for looking after the elderly, others beleive that it should be family members. Who do you think should take responsibilty?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The plan below shows the village of Pebbleton 20 years ago and now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

"In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

With more available access to the internet, many students turn to online ‎sources to study instead of libraries. State some of the problems caused by ‎this and methods to address them.

the average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?