IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

It is quite popular nowadays, that many individuals choose to industry on themselves rather than effort in a corporation or organization, one of the reasons for the ongoing trend is the new generation prioritizes freedom and flexibility in their performance hours, giving them permits to manage their time better and feel more comfortable
for example
Linking Words
, individuals can be satisfied because they put deadlines by themselves and there is no need to submit reports to senior management.
However
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 there is another benefit of working on yourself, individuals can earn more money by working solo and don't share money with a company. Using Internet freelancing is quite popular these days, especially for teenagers
for example
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, citizens can learn design courses from internet sources and earn money
however
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, it
also
Linking Words
 has drawbacks not all citizens can be successfully self-employed they might not find themselves there,
therefore
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, lose the job or they can fail the business and meet the same consequences. The second disadvantage is, that our world needs large organizations or corporations to gain economic and technological strength if humans choose to leave the companies and become self-employed businessmen or freelancers it can lead to crucial problems
such
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 as a shortage of specialists, and cessation of technology development.
To sum up
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, on the one hand, we have the flexibility and freedom to industry on ourselves.
On the other hand
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, not all citizens can be self-employed and can get bad consequences. In my opinion, it has more benefits than drawbacks just humans have to understand what they are going for,
for example
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, if
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 effort alone it can lead to burnout to successfully meet
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deadlines or goals,
however
Linking Words
, it is human to choose where he wishes to effort

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task achievement
Try to make your introduction clearer by stating your main points directly. Also, ensure that your conclusion summarizes your arguments clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words (like 'however', 'firstly', 'for example') so that your ideas flow better. This will help with the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You have included some relevant ideas about the benefits and disadvantages of self-employment, which shows good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom
  • flexibility
  • work hours
  • satisfaction
  • earn
  • money
  • profits
  • technology
  • internet
  • business
  • costs
  • audience
  • independence
  • responsibility
  • risk
  • stress
  • job security
  • social benefits
  • work-life balance
  • commitment
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