IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, the number of children aged 15 and younger are increasing dramatically.What are the current and future effects of an ever increasing population?

In some nations, children between 0-15 years are significantly rising in numbers.Presently, pollution caused by overpopulation is rife
hence
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 it can be predicted that
this
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 scenario will result in massive
land
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 degradation the world over. Today,the dramatic rise in 15 years and younger have left many countries around the globe overpopulated, resulting in high levels of
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, air and water pollution.Towns and cities have been characterised by litter almost everywhere,fuels burst into seas in transit and industries release toxins into the atmosphere every day, all in an effort to service an ever-rising population.
Furthermore
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, the rate of global unemployment has
subsequently
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 risen to unprecedented levels due to overpopulation.
For example
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,only 15% of graduates are absorbed into the job market annually(according to a U.N report on unemployment in 2020),while the remaining 85% roam the streets. In the coming years,
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 degradation will ensue due to huge amounts of undecomposed garbage, acidic rains as well as the death of sea life caused by vast numbers of people.When these happen, disruption in the food chain will be inevitable.To add on, corruption and violent crime will
also
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 be impacts to be encountered due to the rise in populations in the future.If there are too many people against too few resources, greediness is usually common, especially in the top echelons of power,
hence
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 resources will be unfairly distributed.
For example
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,in my country, scholarships and tenders are awarded to close friends and relatives of powerful people,as reported by numerous newspapers.
As a result
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, violent crime will be apparent because it will be survival of the fittest. In conclusion, pollution arising from overcrowded populations being experienced today will lead to disruption in the food chain due to
land
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 degradation in the future.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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