In some countries, criminal trials are shown on television for the public. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

There are mixed views as to showing criminal
trials
to the crowd. Some
people
believe showing criminal
trials
can exert negative influences on the community.
While
I can understand
this
view, I argue we have to focus more on the positive side of the
showing
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
trials
.  Admittedly, some issues can arise from the public watching criminal
trials
.
To begin
with, it is true that
trials
deal with various types of gangland and
people
who
disobeyed
Wrong verb form
disobey
show examples
laws are prosecuted. In the
trials
, the
criminals
are punished depending on their sins, and heinous mobs get harsh corporal punishment.
For example
, judges condemned rapists, murderers and arsonists to be isolated in jail for a long time. In fact, judges and lawyers have to talk in detail about the events to punish
criminals
reasonably.
Therefore
,
people
in the court should express the process of
criminals
which is obscene and cruel, so if
people
watch the
trials
, it harms
people
’s minds, especially, children who can get some emotional
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
However
, I believe showing
criminals
trials
is beneficial for crowds.
To begin
with, various crimes are occurring around the community. In order to better the quality of life, the crime rate must be reduced. It is true that
people
can see the process of
trials
when the criminal trial is broadcasted, so
people
can get more
alertness
Replace the word
alert
show examples
of
criminals
.
Furthermore
,
people
can observe the harsh punishment for
criminals
and their behaviour that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
desperate
such
as crying or screaming.
Therefore
,it plays an important role in warning potential gangland, thereby
this
can be a great deterrent to prevent
criminals
. In conclusion,
although
broadcasting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminal
trials
in public might cause some issues, I believe it does good for
people
by reducing crime.
Submitted by neinpair on

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task response
For task achievement, make sure to more clearly address both the advantages and disadvantages of showing criminal trials on TV.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas to create a more coherent structure. Additionally, make sure to use transition words and phrases to link your ideas together more effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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