Full-time university students should spend a lot of time studying, but it is essential to be involved in other activities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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In the concurrent world, lots of teenagers go to

the

Correct article usage

apply

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universities. Some of their parents think that they should merely focus on their studies, and they should not attend any other activity. While others claim that they should join some events to cultivate some other abilities. To me, I consider that the latter one is better than the former one.

this

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essay is going to discuss why it is and my own reasons.

Firstly

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, we can not deny that as long as you are studying, you definitely cannot fail your subjects.

However

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, it is

also

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important that

experiencing

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experience

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other types of

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

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. Our societies do not really need a person who only can take exams.

Moreover

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, we need something useful.

For instance

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, one student may get

straight

Correct article usage

a straight

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A at school, but he may not talk to people ,which conveys that he does not know how to

social

Replace the word

socialise

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. Or, he may not know how to arrange his time.

In addition

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although

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they have won on their grades, they may lose their lives in the future.

Secondly

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, there are several benefits if they join the other activities. When they are involved in societies, they can absorb some practical skills.

First

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, they can learn how to communicate. Since they are in a club, they obviously need to talk to the others.

Additionally

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, they have to figure out what is appropriate or grossly inappropriate in a conversation.

Second

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, they can practice how to manage their schedules.

For example

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, there are so many parties that they can go

Change preposition

to.

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Hence

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, they have to choose which is the most sensation. To conclude, it can be seen that being involved in other activities has various positive sides, and I utterly agree that full-time university students should spend some time on them.

Submitted by sam658769 on Fri Jan 28 2022

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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