IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #plant #trees #spaces #towns #cities
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In
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decades, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who reside in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 has been on a rise and
therefore
Linking Words
, one of their pivotal requirements that ought to be provided is housing.
However
Linking Words
, most
folk
Change to a plural noun
folks
show examples
 argue that preserving
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 resources and planting more
trees
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more of a value and providing and building accommodation for
people
Use synonyms
 should the
second
Linking Words
 priority in urbanizing. While
this
Linking Words
 essay agrees with the above notion it
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
show examples
 that planting
trees
Use synonyms
 has
direct
Add an article
a direct
show examples
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
standard
Add an article
the standard
a standard
show examples
 of living which ought not to be sacrificed by more skyscrapers.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is an undeniable fact that due to industrialization in cities
people
Use synonyms
 reside from rural to urban
areas
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
, urban
areas
Use synonyms
 that were used to be surrounded by
trees
Use synonyms
 and vegetation has undergone considerable changes by human constructions.
Linking Words
Subsequently
Add a comma
,Subsequently
show examples
trees
Use synonyms
 have been cut.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 the important matter that humans have
innate
Correct article usage
an innate
show examples
 need to be connected with
nature
Use synonyms
 has been underestimated. These changes can result in a phenomenon called urban heat island which means solid materials as buildings absorb more heat from
sun
Add an article
the sun
show examples
 and raise the temperature of the city’s 5 or 6 degrees more than lands in rural parts. If some regulations be set with the approach of planting more
trees
Use synonyms
,
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
 and
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
show examples
 the local greens, the crisis of climate would be tackled to some extent.
Additionally
Linking Words
, due to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of enough
nature
Use synonyms
 communities are suffering,
hence
Linking Words
, living standards in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 has been worsen.
A recent
Remove the article
Recent
show examples
 research in environment organization of UK over the different regions of
this
Linking Words
 city conducted that those who reside on cites with more
trees
Use synonyms
 and other green elements were feeling more mentally
confidence
Replace the word
confident
show examples
 opposed to those who lack
this
Linking Words
 point in their
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
 were having more mental pressure.
Hence
Linking Words
, green spaces are necessary for
people
Use synonyms
 well-being. To conclude, the urgent
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
 for housing for accommodating
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 has resulted in demolishing
nature
Use synonyms
cites
Correct your spelling
sites
show examples
 and being harsh to our environment.
Although
Linking Words
, unless there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
adequate
Change the article
an adequate
the adequate
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
trees
Use synonyms
 in where we live and
considerable
Change the article
a considerable
the considerable
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of landscapes
such
Linking Words
 as parks, one of humans
desire
Fix the agreement mistake
desires
show examples
 which is
connection
Add an article
a connection
the connection
show examples
 with
nature
Use synonyms
 wouldn’t be achieved.
Submitted by mary.zadegan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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