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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that money makes life comfortable. Others think that a large amount of wealth brings more troubles. Do the advantages of having a lot of money outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #money #life #amount #wealth #troubles
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It is believed by some that
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
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 lifestyle is possible with
wealth
Use synonyms
; others,
however
Linking Words
, consider
money
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 to be a source of hardships and plights in life. Financial stability is advantageous because it allows
people
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 not only to afford
good
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a good
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 standard of essential necessities but
also
Linking Words
 helps them to enjoy
luxuries
Correct article usage
the luxuries
show examples
 of life.
Although
Linking Words
 the rich always have increased security risks, the benefits of economic strength are far more significant. The blessing of
wealth
Use synonyms
 enables
people
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 to get
high
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a high
the high
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 standard of basic needs.
For instance
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, healthcare and educational facilities offered by private sectors are often excellent as compared to the governmental departments. In order to afford these private services a big amount of
money
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 is needed.
Similarly
Linking Words
, for having a lavish lifestyle, excess
of
Change preposition
apply
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money
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 is required to bear the expenses.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the elite class is entitled to enjoy luxury accommodations, new models of posh cars and
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 electronic gadgets because of their assets and bank balance. These are
importance
Replace the word
important
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 benefits of
wealth
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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,
upper
Add an article
the upper
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 class in a society is always vulnerable to safety issues.
This
Linking Words
 is because of the fact that they are more prone to burglary, theft and robbery as they have plenty of financial resources to attract criminals.
Thus
Linking Words
,
wealth
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 endangers the safety of
people
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; so, they often require security guards to protect themselves and their finances. In conclusion, despite the security threats to the rich
people
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 and their belongings,
money
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 is a key factor to afford necessities and luxuries for the sake of a better standard of living.
Hence
Linking Words
, the benefits of
wealth
Use synonyms
 outweigh its drawbacks.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • assets
  • investment
  • quality of life
  • employment opportunities
  • healthcare
  • freedom
  • philanthropic activities
  • stress and anxiety
  • financial status
  • trust issues
  • jealousy
  • privacy
  • scrutiny
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