You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #activities #mountain #risk #lives #trend

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Arguably, a significant number of individuals

performs

Correct subject-verb agreement

perform

show examples

extremely dangerous sports like

cliffs

Fix the agreement mistake

cliff

show examples

climbing and hand-gliding. Personally, I believe it is

due to

Linking Words

fame and honours and it is not the better way to follow since it jeopardises the gamers'

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will shed light on the reasons for the view and provide evidence to prove the arguments. There are manifold reasons for the aforementioned statement. First and foremost, individuals undertake extremely hazardous activities in looking for the spotlight and public

prises

Correct your spelling

prices

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In other words

Linking Words

, these sports catch the public's attention increasing the athlete's visibility.

For instance

Linking Words

, the best-known street beggar, Antony

becomes

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

famous

due to

Linking Words

the

Change the word

their

his

her

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Everest mountain climbing in 2006, since that time he

was

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

regarded as a God on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

earth.

As a result

Linking Words

, his career was advanced and his social life ameliorated.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it is the prime reason for widespread professionals wanting to undertake these games.

Secondly

Linking Words

, mountain climbing is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

source of marketing and publicity for a huge number of companies. Because of the necessity to increase sales, many enterprises invest more financial resources in those gamers making them take the risks.

For example

Linking Words

, 60% of

cliffs

Fix the agreement mistake

cliff

show examples

sporters were reported to be in the game owing to the fact that enterprises offered a huge amount of money to sell their brands and products.

Hence

Linking Words

, a myriad of gamers even wanting to quit were seduced by money.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is the overriding reason for all involved in these types of sports to continue in the saga even acknowledging the high risk to pay. In conclusion, indeed, these sorts of games are extremely hazardous,

however

Linking Words

, fame and money make the perpetrators continue to take the risk.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I still believe

this

Linking Words

is not the way to go since there are a lot of risks involved .

Submitted by vascomunguarepenete on Fri Jan 28 2022

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coherence and cohesion

Improve the introduction by clearly stating your opinion and outlining the main points you will discuss in the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument of the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments and make them more convincing.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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