IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Human activities have a negative effect on plant and animal species. Some people say that it is too late to do anything. Some people think that we should take effective action improve situation. Discuss both sides and give your opinion ?

#activities #effect #plant #species #people #action #situation
There are tremendously controversial perspectives heating a debate over the fact that a negative impact on flora and fauna is caused by human activities. While some claim that there is no time to do anything, the opposite
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 a statement that we still have
effective
Correct article usage
an effective
show examples
 solution to address
this
 problem.
Although
 the former is valid to some
extend
Replace the word
extent
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, I consider myself an advocate of the latter. Without a shadow of a doubt, there are some compelling reasons why it is too late to deal with
serious
Correct article usage
the serious
show examples
 consequences of human actions on plants and
animals
, especially poaching.
In other words
, because of an inexorable appetite for parts of
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
 of certain animal species that have
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 value of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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, many
animals
 targeted are on the verge of extinction because of the rapidly increasing hunting rate.
For instance
, rhino’s horns are thought to bring tremendous
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 for certain severe
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
such
 as cancer.
Hence
, the extinction of many species of
animals
 caused by human illegal hunting is the reason why people think that there is no method to tackle
this
 problem. While some dire influences that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 have on
animals
 are widely acknowledged, there will be a number of remedies to alleviate
this
 issue. The government has started campaigns to encourage people to boycott animal products and
this
 leads to a decrease in the demands for
such
 products of people and the decline of hunting rate.
For example
,
PETA
Correct article usage
the PETA
show examples
 organization was created to fight the immorality with
animals
, especially they condemn the act of using
animals
 to make medicine and cosmetics.
Thus
, there is a wide range of
resolution
Fix the agreement mistake
resolutions
show examples
 to handle the negative impact that humans have
cause
Change the form of the verb
caused
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
animals
. In conclusion,
although
 the serious consequences for
animals
 caused by humans cannot be denied, there are some effective ways to cope with
this
 problem.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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