IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #change #career #life #kinds #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an opinion that people should change their
job
 at least once
in activity
Correct your spelling
inactivity
show examples
 to do other jobs. I agree with
this
 statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it is important to know some kind of
sphere
. But there is some specific what about I explain below. It is impossible to work in
one
sphere
 or workplace in whole of
life
. Every person needs to explore several spheres. In that case, the person will know how to work other rules in
life
. The different experiences are very helpful in some situations and at least, it is interesting to talk with people who
job
 in other areas. 
For instance
, the experience of working teachers can help in government agencies, museums or in writing.
On the other hand
, there are some specialised, which is better not change.
For example
, to be a doctor all of
life
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is on contrary, useful. Because with each year doctors became more professional and it is more useful than if they choose another profession in the middle of their career. The engineers would be useful too to the community. Sometimes to be professional in
one
 area is better, than working in a different
sphere
 per little time.
Such
 told someone: "I am afraid not
one
 who knows a little of many spheres, I afraid of
one
, who learnt
one
sphere
 deeply and long time" In conclusion, I want to note that before changing a
job
 and send here, it is better to think deeply, because specialises are different. In some ,
sphere
 it is better to remain all of
life
, due to their usage. But there are spheres, which became a good experience to another
job
.
Submitted by akzharkyn010191 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: