Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead.

Generally speaking, nowadays many
animals
are endangered and human beings need to do something to avoid
this
.
This
essay will discuss,
animals
that are disappearing, the reason to avoid animal extinction and the effects of animal testing. I agree that
animals
must be protected.
Firstly
, most of the
animals
are in danger are wild
animals
.
For example
, the top of the list of
animals
endangered in 2022
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
polar bears and pandas bears.
Additionally
,
elephants
Fix the agreement mistake
elephant
show examples
hunting
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
increased the number of these
animals
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
disappearing.
Nevertheless
, there are people who believe protecting
animals
is less important than world poverty.
Secondly
, the well-being of the planet is the reason that
animals
must be protected as depend on biodiversity.
For instance
, the loss of species can disrupt the balance of the ecosystem.
Moreover
, if an animal becomes extinct the invasive species will increase the loss of biodiversity in a place.
However
, some people think that it is better to invest money in industries that destroy the environment than to protect
animals
.
Lastly
, animal testing directly affects wild
animals
. To give one example, chimpanzees are endangered and they are used to research new medicines and treatments.
Furthermore
, some of these
animals
are often killed during testing.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, there are some
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
it is better to test drugs in
animals
for side effects and safety reasons for human beings than protect them. In conclusion, many wild
animals
are endangered and they need to be protected since the world
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
losing its biodiversity being dangerous for us.
Thus
, I agree that human beings need to do something to protect
animals
.
Submitted by roberto.carrascopizarro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the given topic and presents a clear argument. Provide specific examples and elaborate on your points to improve comprehension.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your essay with clear topic sentences, supporting details, and a strong conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation status
  • ecological significance
  • holistic approach
  • endangered species
  • natural heritage
  • unforeseen negative impacts
  • economically non-viable
  • prioritization
  • ecosystem balance
  • conservation efforts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: