Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead.

#people #animals

Generally speaking, nowadays many

animals

are endangered and human beings need to do something to avoid

this

This

essay will discuss,

animals

that are disappearing, the reason to avoid animal extinction and the effects of animal testing. I agree that

animals

must be protected.

Firstly

, most of the

animals

are in danger are wild

animals

For example

, the top of the list of

animals

endangered in 2022

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

polar bears and pandas bears.

Additionally

elephants

Fix the agreement mistake

elephant

show examples

hunting

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

increased the number of these

animals

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

disappearing.

Nevertheless

, there are people who believe protecting

animals

is less important than world poverty.

Secondly

, the well-being of the planet is the reason that

animals

must be protected as depend on biodiversity.

For instance

, the loss of species can disrupt the balance of the ecosystem.

Moreover

, if an animal becomes extinct the invasive species will increase the loss of biodiversity in a place.

However

, some people think that it is better to invest money in industries that destroy the environment than to protect

animals

Lastly

, animal testing directly affects wild

animals

. To give one example, chimpanzees are endangered and they are used to research new medicines and treatments.

Furthermore

, some of these

animals

are often killed during testing.

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, there are some

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

said

Wrong verb form

say

show examples

it is better to test drugs in

animals

for side effects and safety reasons for human beings than protect them. In conclusion, many wild

animals

are endangered and they need to be protected since the world

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

losing its biodiversity being dangerous for us.

Thus

, I agree that human beings need to do something to protect

animals

Submitted by roberto.carrascopizarro on Sat Jan 29 2022

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task response

Ensure that your essay directly addresses the given topic and presents a clear argument. Provide specific examples and elaborate on your points to improve comprehension.

coherence and cohesion

Work on structuring your essay with clear topic sentences, supporting details, and a strong conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

266 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecosystem
conservation status
ecological significance
holistic approach
endangered species
natural heritage
unforeseen negative impacts
economically non-viable
prioritization
ecosystem balance
conservation efforts

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Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead.

Your opinion

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Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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