IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Everyone should become vegetarian since they do not need to eat meat in order to have a healthy diet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#meat #diet
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Some people have said that all populations should consume only fruits and vegetables for
health
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. If they ate
meat
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, it would negatively affect their
health
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 conditions. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. In the following paragraphs, the reasons to support my opinion will be discussed. If they are vegetarian without having any kind of
meat
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’s products, their
health
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 will probably be worse than balancing all types of food.
Firstly
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, due to the energy that bodies have
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 every day,
meat
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 or other types of protein are essential to sufficiently
consume
Change the verb form
consuming
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 each day. Only fruits and vegetables are not able to offer energy for life’s activities.
Moreover
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,
meat
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 can be changed into small molecules for taking care of the injured parts of the body, especially if they have heavy exercise. Another reason is that numerous vital mechanisms or hormones within the human’s body depend on protein received from
meat
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.
Therefore
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, cutting down on
meat
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 is likely to be more dangerous than getting better
health
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.
Furthermore
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, the more they eat something too much, the more they take risks
instead
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. Even though there are a lot of benefits from fruits and vegetables, consumers might lack some kinds of vitamins or minerals which are necessary to some human life’s mechanisms. Those vitamins and minerals cannot discover except only in
meat
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.
In addition
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 to all reasons, they might take synthetic chemicals,
such
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 as pesticides, spent in the process of modern agriculture.
As a result
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, it is not guaranteed that they will get healthier if they are vegetarian. In conclusion, I personally disagree with being healthy without
meat
Use synonyms
 consumption. It does not only do they lack essential food for vital parts of the body, but they
also
Linking Words
 have various higher risks when they take something too much.
Submitted by choco_philia on

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