With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Recently, the development of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
and health facilities has been increasing
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
life expectancy index.
Therefore
, the citizens must be ready to take
care
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
older
people
.
This
essay
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, will discuss the
unability
Correct your spelling
inability
of society to conquer
this situations
Change the determiner
this situation
these situations
show examples
and the comprehensive solutions to resolve them.
First
and foremost, in the globalization
era
Add a comma
,era
show examples
the increase of elderly
people
will definitely reduce the productivity of citizens because the social proportion of young and old
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
is not equal.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
the
statictics
Correct your spelling
statistics
produce in Japan, that 60% of their population is in the range of 60 years old above.
This
means the young generation will
probabbly
Correct your spelling
probably
not
enough
Add a missing verb
be enough
show examples
to take
care
all
Change preposition
of all
show examples
particular
Correct article usage
the particular
show examples
needs of their old family.
Moreover
, in the tight
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
competition, the productive generation must be
Add an article
a concern
show examples
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
their work in order to preserve
thier
Correct your spelling
their
income. In
Japan
Add a comma
,Japan
show examples
people
work
averagely
Correct article usage
an averagely
show examples
10
Change preposition
of 10
show examples
hours per day, which
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
resulting
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
that they will not able to take
care
of old
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
all time. Despite those
chalanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
, several
alternative
Change to a plural noun
alternatives
show examples
can be implemented in order to maintain social
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
and
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
development.
Establishment
Correct article usage
The establishment
show examples
of social
care
foundation will be beneficial for
productive
Correct article usage
a productive
show examples
family.
For instance
in Indonesia, there are
Add an article
a non
the non
show examples
non governmental
Add a hyphen
non-governmental
show examples
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
can provide family helpers to take
care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
old family while
thier
Correct your spelling
their
family members still working.
Secondly
, the other family members who are not employed
such
as
brother
Fix the agreement mistake
brothers
show examples
in law or
cousin
Fix the agreement mistake
cousins
show examples
can be the other options.
This
action will provide not only
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
show examples
zone for grandmother/grandfather
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
will give a chance for them to work. In conclusion,
people
proportion and
economy
presure
Correct your spelling
pressure
are the main
problem
Change the noun form
problems
show examples
why the society is unable to assist
thier
Correct your spelling
their
old family member. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
the establishment of
social
Correct article usage
a social
show examples
foundation and employed helpers from other family members will
extremely
Add a missing verb
be extremely
show examples
beneficial to help them comprehensively.
Submitted by panderino12 on

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