With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

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Recently, the development of
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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and health facilities has been increasing
human
Correct article usage
the human
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life expectancy index.
Therefore
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, the citizens must be ready to take
care
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more
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of more
show examples
older
people
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.
This
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essay
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however
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,however
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, will discuss the
unability
Correct your spelling
inability
of society to conquer
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this situations
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this situation
these situations
show examples
and the comprehensive solutions to resolve them.
First
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and foremost, in the globalization
era
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,era
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the increase of elderly
people
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will definitely reduce the productivity of citizens because the social proportion of young and old
generation
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generations
show examples
is not equal.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
the
statictics
Correct your spelling
statistics
produce in Japan, that 60% of their population is in the range of 60 years old above.
This
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means the young generation will
probabbly
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probably
not
enough
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be enough
show examples
to take
care
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all
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of all
show examples
particular
Correct article usage
the particular
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needs of their old family.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the tight
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economy
Replace the word
economic
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competition, the productive generation must be
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a concern
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concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
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on
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about
show examples
their work in order to preserve
thier
Correct your spelling
their
income. In
Japan
Add a comma
,Japan
show examples
people
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work
averagely
Correct article usage
an averagely
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10
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of 10
show examples
hours per day, which
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
resulting
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
that they will not able to take
care
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of old
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
all time. Despite those
chalanges
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challenges
, several
alternative
Change to a plural noun
alternatives
show examples
can be implemented in order to maintain social
live
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life
show examples
and
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economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
development.
Establishment
Correct article usage
The establishment
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of social
care
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foundation will be beneficial for
productive
Correct article usage
a productive
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family.
For instance
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in Indonesia, there are
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a non
the non
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non governmental
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non-governmental
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organization
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organizations
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
can provide family helpers to take
care
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their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
old family while
thier
Correct your spelling
their
family members still working.
Secondly
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, the other family members who are not employed
such
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as
brother
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brothers
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in law or
cousin
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cousins
show examples
can be the other options.
This
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action will provide not only
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
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zone for grandmother/grandfather
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
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will give a chance for them to work. In conclusion,
people
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proportion and
economy
Use synonyms
presure
Correct your spelling
pressure
are the main
problem
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problems
show examples
why the society is unable to assist
thier
Correct your spelling
their
old family member. In my
opinion
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,opinion
show examples
the establishment of
social
Correct article usage
a social
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foundation and employed helpers from other family members will
extremely
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be extremely
show examples
beneficial to help them comprehensively.
Submitted by panderino12 on

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