With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?
Recently, the development of
economy
and health facilities has been increasing Correct article usage
the economy
human
life expectancy index. Correct article usage
the human
Therefore
, the citizens must be ready to take care
more
older Change preposition
of more
people
. This
essay however
, will discuss the Add the comma(s)
,however
unability
of society to conquer Correct your spelling
inability
this situations
and the comprehensive solutions to resolve them.
Change the determiner
this situation
these situations
First
and foremost, in the globalization era
the increase of elderly Add a comma
,era
people
will definitely reduce the productivity of citizens because the social proportion of young and old generation
is not equal. Fix the agreement mistake
generations
For
example
the Add a comma
,example
statictics
produce in Japan, that 60% of their population is in the range of 60 years old above. Correct your spelling
statistics
This
means the young generation will probabbly
not Correct your spelling
probably
enough
to take Add a missing verb
be enough
care
all
Change preposition
of all
particular
needs of their old family. Correct article usage
the particular
Moreover
, in the tight economy
competition, the productive generation must be Replace the word
economic
Add an article
a concern
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
on
their work in order to preserve Change preposition
about
thier
income. In Correct your spelling
their
Japan
Add a comma
,Japan
people
work averagely
Correct article usage
an averagely
10
hours per day, which Change preposition
of 10
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
resulting
that they will not able to take Wrong verb form
results
care
of old family
all time.
Despite those Fix the agreement mistake
families
chalanges
, several Correct your spelling
challenges
alternative
can be implemented in order to maintain social Change to a plural noun
alternatives
live
and Replace the word
life
economy
development. Replace the word
economic
Establishment
of social Correct article usage
The establishment
care
foundation will be beneficial for productive
family. Correct article usage
a productive
For instance
in Indonesia, there are Add an article
a non
the non
non governmental
Add a hyphen
non-governmental
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
who
can provide family helpers to take Correct pronoun usage
that
care
their
old family while Change preposition
of their
thier
family members still working. Correct your spelling
their
Secondly
, the other family members who are not employed such
as brother
in law or Fix the agreement mistake
brothers
cousin
can be the other options. Fix the agreement mistake
cousins
This
action will provide not only comfortable
zone for grandmother/grandfatherCorrect article usage
a comfortable
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
will give a chance for them to work.
In conclusion, people
proportion and economy
presure
are the main Correct your spelling
pressure
problem
why the society is unable to assist Change the noun form
problems
thier
old family member. In my Correct your spelling
their
opinion
the establishment of Add a comma
,opinion
social
foundation and employed helpers from other family members will Correct article usage
a social
extremely
beneficial to help them comprehensively.Add a missing verb
be extremely
Submitted by panderino12 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.