IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

#world’s #cost #fuel
It is certainly true that by increasing the cost of
fuel
, the environmental concern in the entire world can be solved by controlling
air
 pollution. I totally agree with
this
 and the justifications are given below.
Fuel
 is a primary source to operate any type of vehicle. The amount paid for
fuel
 is affordable by the population currently.
However
, any hike in
fuel
 prices will significantly reduce the usage of
vehicles
.
Thus
, Individuals either stop using personal
vehicles
 or try to use public transport to save money.
As a result
, less amount of carbon dioxide and Sulfur gases will produce which will help to decline the carbon emission in the
air
.
Due to
this
,
Air
 pollution will come under control.
For example
,
last
 year, India increased the petrol price by 30% per litre.
As a consequence
, a 40% traffic reduction was noticed in the metro cities which benefited the atmosphere by minimizing the polluted gases .
In addition
, the public will
also
 find other options which can be used
instead
 of
fuel
. Nowadays, electrical
vehicles
 are widely used in various parts of the world.
Due to
 the increment in
fuel
 prices, a number of folks will switch their
vehicles
 from
fuel
 to electricity,
therefore
, the
overall
 consumption of
fuel
 will come down and drop the amount of toxic gases generation and adding to the surrounding.
For instance
, as per a survey conducted by the "Times Magazine" in the year 2023, more than 60% of the population purchased a new electric car as a cost-effective measure and these changes improve
air
 quality because of the reduction of exhausted smoke. In conclusion, I strongly believe that increasing
fuel
 prices will definitely help to lower the density of
vehicles
 on the road which is the best solution as a preventive measure of the world's environmental problem.
Submitted by ahv on

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task achievement
While the essay is clear and comprehensible, there are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be cleaned up for better readability. For example, using 'the' before 'public will also find other options.'
task achievement
You can further enhance your task achievement by expanding on the potential negative impacts of increasing fuel prices, such as economic consequences, to show a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Some transitions between ideas can be improved for smoother flow. Rather than starting a new sentence, consider using conjunctive adverbs like 'therefore' or 'consequently'.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding a brief mention of alternative solutions to Environmental problems in the introduction or conclusion to show deeper engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples, such as the case of fuel price hikes in India, to support your points.
task achievement
Your main points are clearly stated and directly address the essay question, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disproportionately affect
  • renewable sources
  • solar energy
  • equity in environmental policies
  • exacerbating social inequalities
  • incentivizing
  • subsidies
  • strict regulations
  • industrial emissions
  • sustainable local production
  • carbon footprints
  • punitive measures
  • sustainability efforts
  • robust and lasting changes
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