IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money
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“Happiness is the ultimate goal of human
life
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.”
Aa
Correct your spelling
As
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 the saying suggests, almost everyone live to be happy. Some people say the main way to be happy is to have a lot of
money
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. They believe that a desirable
life
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 can be led with pockets full. But how actually is it possible?
To begin
Linking Words
 with, happiness for some is related to the luxuries of
life
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. It can be an expensive car, exotic experiences, food, adventures etc. that requires powerful spending power.
In addition
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, prices of even the basic amenities are reaching the sky.
For example
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, if a parent wants an admission for their child
in
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to
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 a reputable school, they need a good amount of funds.
Moreover
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, who does not want
live
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to live
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 in a nice house with all the latest technologies
.
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?
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 Studies
also
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 show that a large percentage of people suffering from depression is due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
money
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.
However
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, not everything in
life
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 can be bought with bucks. As it is truly said,"True happiness comes with things that are free of cost." Values like friendship, compassion, loyalty, kindness and generosity cannot be priced. As a matter of fact, one can buy a
high end
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high-end
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 watch but not time. Just like that, a doctor's appointment can be booked by paying for it, but not health. To conclude,
money
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 might be helpful in some aspects of happiness but it cannot buy everything. An individual can be rich but still unhappy just like someone who might be poor but rich in certain
perspects
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prospects
 of
life
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, the power of
money
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 is limited to materialistic purchases and not to priceless things.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
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