Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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these days , severe
pressure
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is imposed on the
kids
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by their
parents
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in order to prosper. guaranteeing
kids
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' future and boosting their resistance, they do that
although
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this
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notion bears not only some upsides including adhering to order and making attempts to reach goals but
also
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some downsides
such
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as mental disorders.
firstly
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, some
parents
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believe that the future of their
children
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will be formed considering the measures they have taken in the past because those were nurtured in the same situation, they have of unshakable belief in these domains since they have reached their goals.
secondly
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,
parents
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think that pressed
pressure
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,
kids
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will present more resistance and resilience and take responsibility. the main benefit of
that is
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children
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grow up in a harmonious situation
besides
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they are educated on how to tailor to different circumstances
therefore
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they would not be preoccupied with novel issues because being
children
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, they have had the same experiences.
additionally
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, they have a winning mindset
hence
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they make an accurate schedule and set short-term and long-term goals spontaneously,
for instance
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, Japanese
children
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grow up under severe
pressure
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and do not have a tranquil childhood but they will flourish leading to a developed country.
on the other hand
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, putting
pressure
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on
kids
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brings about some mental problems because the childish era is a golden time for playing and acquiring experience and knowledge
therefore
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pressing them beyond their capacities leads to some disasters including complex and anti-social behaviours like suicide,
for example
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, Japon has not
also
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highest rate of developments but
also
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highest rate of suicide. as outlined above, putting
pressure
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on
kids
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is necessary to become successful
although
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parents
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should be aware of all aspects of
children
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's lives because
kids
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have low and sensitive morals
Submitted by pooya.sheytoon2 on

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complete response
Provide a more balanced view in your discussion. While you did well to mention both the benefits and drawbacks, try to equally develop both sides for a more comprehensive analysis.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant examples, especially the example of Japanese children and their education system, which adds weight to your argument.
complete response
Your essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of putting pressure on children, showcasing an understanding of the topic's complexity.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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