IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many government thino that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#government #thino #progress #people #country
People believe that it is going to be tough in the coming days to Inhabitat on the
planet
 earth. ,
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 it doesn't mean there is no other way except thinking of another
planet
 like mars. In my ,opinion I disagree with the statement and
further
 explain in the forthcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
, It cannot be denied day by day things are becoming tough for human beings as well as for flora and fauna. We have created huge chaos all over the world.
Moreover
 to the virus, from the past
years
Change to a genitive case
year's
years'
show examples
 number of disasters like earthquakes,excessive rainfall, floods,tsunami have
also
 risen. ,
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 the situation being so worst we have survived and have learnt lessons after every
such
 incident. So it makes no sense to think and waste resources on planning and diverting everything on another
planet
.
Secondly
, research and
establish
Wrong verb form
establishing
show examples
 a whole new world will cost lots of money even after spending so much it is no guarantee that we might succeed. Insight of that we can rather be on the same
planet
 and concentrate on developing our existing world so that,
further
, we don't face any pandemics or we are well prepared to overcome for any unnatural events to happen.,
Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
show examples
 we need to conserve our eco-system,
for instance
, stop a large number of experiments on animals,less use of plastic , saving natural resources from pollution and take
further
 steps to sustain it. To, conclude
instead
 of starting from
initially
 on another
planet
, we can focus more on the problems and threats which can be
further
 faced on earth.
Submitted by koushvenkat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: