IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Because many children are not able to learn foreign language, schools should not force to learn foreign language. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#children #language #schools #force
In the contemporary world,
children
 are required to learn more than one
language
 in schools.
However
, people's opinions are polarised on
this
 topic, whether it is good to learn an extra
language
 or spending a huge amount of time for foreign
language
 can distract students from the main subjects. I support that learning foreign languages is beneficial for the student and will try to provide relevant reasons in the following paragraphs. To commence, acquiring a new
language
, demands true hard work and patience from students who are at the early stage of their lives. Spontaneously, after having a huge amount of pressure
children
 starts to lose interest in another main subject. Put simply, 7 years old girl or boy who is studying a foreign
language
 daily, will never be focused on mathematics or literature at home after a long day of school.
Moreover
, the child who has not learned the native
language
 yet, cannot efficiently acquire the new one. On the flip side of the coin, learning an additional
language
 at school can be challenging for young students, but it will be paid off in the future.
Firstly
, extra
language
 is the key tool for finding useful information in the modern world, because the vast majority of the sources in the library is in different languages.
Secondly
, if a student is smart enough to learn a
second
language
 and has sufficient knowledge, he or she will not face the obstacles to finding the proper job in a competitive society. On a concluding, modern school that requires
children
 to learn an additional
language
 have both benefits and drawback.
However
, I am sure that
children
 with the knowledge of extra
language
 can easily find their place in modern society.
Submitted by azickww on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: