Learning at university would be more effective if men and women were educated separetely. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an argument that the education system would be more effective if genders became isolated from each other. I completely reject
this
view because knowledge can not be separated by the population's sex.
To begin
with, knowledge is becoming the first priority for the population and most of the graduates from high school want to study at university. As a result
, the students' figure increased dramatically and making the distinction between genders is an ineffective method because the number of universities should be doubled and this
is completely a waste of money. Additionally
, the figure of teachers will be faced with a shortage and there will be a large gap for educators and the quality of studies will not remain the same , consequently
, there will be a significant decrease in community knowledge. For example
, in Iran, there are a number of universities that specialize for only one generation and research compared the grades of these universities with others during the same period there were no differences in figures.
On the other hand
, this
developed world has all types of communication such
as phones and computers and separation is just a formality and will not have any beneficial point for increasing their results . Also
when the workplace and other parts of the community are blended with two genders there is no point in doing this
and it is advantageous to prepare these young people for their future from
campus.
In conclusion, I believe the isolation of men and women on campus is completely wasteful and the quality of studies will decrease gradually , Change preposition
on
additionally
,this
process will waste a large amount of moneySubmitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on
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To improve your score, focus on providing more concrete and detailed examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and make your ideas more persuasive.
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Consider expanding on your ideas with more depth and complexity. This will demonstrate a greater understanding of the topic and enhance your essay's overall effectiveness.
coherence
Your essay shows a good effort in structuring arguments, but you could enhance coherence by making smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using transitional phrases can help achieve a more fluid and connected essay.
coherence
Be mindful of the flow of your essay. At times, the sequence of arguments seems to jump abruptly, which can confuse the reader. Planning your essay structure beforehand might help in maintaining a logical order throughout.
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You've presented a clear stance on the topic, consistently arguing against the separation of genders in education, which is commendable.
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Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces your argument against gender isolation in education.
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