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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility
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With the rapid development of technology programmes and many shops in which a lot of unhealthy meals and drinks are sold,
children
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 in many countries are confronted with significant problems related to their health in the face of their being unhealthy and unfit. At a time, some people argue that it is the
government
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's responsibility to solve
this
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 issue. As far as I am concerned, I am in favour of junk
food
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 advertising should be limited by the
government
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.
Firstly
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, in order to make
children
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 healthy and improve their poor diets as well bad eating habits which cause obesity, the
government
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 and the whole society should do their utmost to prohibit unhealthy junk
food
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 and advertisements which are based on
this
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food
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 owned by several companies. Because parents nowadays are busy with their own jobs and not present to guide their
children
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.
Therefore
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,
children
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 are often bombarded with advertisements on TV about fast
food
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 at home playing video games, spending more time indoors and chatting on the Internet rather than playing outside or doing sport and taking part in activities that burn a lot of energy.
Secondly
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, the
government
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 should put some restrictions on the type of adverts shown in
children
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's programmes and meanwhile, educate
children
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 about nutrition organizing compulsory lessons to explain the main elements of a healthy diet and how to prepare healthy delicious meals at home which helps to deter them from eating fast
food
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.
Furthermore
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, the
government
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also
Linking Words
 should establish regular fitness programmes by increasing physical activities for
children
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.
However
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,
children
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 can not be controlled by the
government
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 all the time. That's why, parents should take more responsibility for their
children
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 by preparing bounteous meals, banning them from computer games and encouraging their
children
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 to do physical exercises every day.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
although
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 parents are constantly engaged with their jobs, they should make
children
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 get used to a proper eating routine. It is very crucial for
children
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's health. To sum up, in my point view, the
government
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 plays a major role in improving
children
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's unhealthy lifestyles and putting restrictions on their consumption of fast
food
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.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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