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Band 5.5

THE FOREST AND THE NEED TO PRESERVE IT. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

#forest
In recent times, a lot of attention has been drawn to the need to protect the forest.
Although
, some
persons
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people
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 argue
otherwise
,
however
, I believe there are benefits
in
Change preposition
to
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 preserving
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wildlife.
This
 essay will discuss in detail some of the advantages of securing forest life.
To begin
 with, the protection of natural bushes can serve as a source of revenue generation for the government.
Accordingly
, uncultivated areas and landscapes of aesthetic appeal usually serve as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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tourist
attraction
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attractions
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 to both locals and foreigners who travel great distances and pay a significant amount of money to have
such
experience
Correct article usage
an experience
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.
For example
, a recent study shows that the income generated from tourist sites in Nigeria has doubled in the
last
 decade.
Therefore
, even if the authorities invest heavily in natural reserves, it will impact the economy positive
Furthermore
, conserving faunas and floras
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 in achieving a balanced ecosystem.
As a result
, a predator-prey relationship is checked.
For instance
, if there was an overpopulation of prey,
this
 could lead to
increased
Correct article usage
an increased
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 incidence of zoonotic diseases which can have devastating outcomes on the public.
Hence
, it is important to protect the wild for health reasons.
Lastly
, some untamed species are endangered and at risk of extinction
due to
 the activities of a man like poaching.
Consequently
, through various conservation projects, a host of these organisms are secured. To
further
 illustrate, following recent
law
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laws
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 prohibiting deforestation by the federal government, new
breed
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breeds
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 of species were able to be identified and placed in reservation sites.
Thus
 ensuring their safety. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that the protection of wildlife has numerous advantages to society and conscious effort should be tailored into securing them.
Submitted by joshuaosarenmwinda on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a clearer argument by stating your stance on the issue in the introduction.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to enhance the depth of your arguments.
Grammatical Range
Demonstrate a wider range of complex sentence structures to showcase your language proficiency.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • deforestation
  • carbon sequestration
  • sustainable forest management
  • ecosystem
  • climate regulation
  • habitat preservation
  • renewable resources
  • environmental balance
  • conservation
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