IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, where many competitions,
people
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 are trying to surpass each other.
This
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 forced them to work hard, due to be more competitive, because today the
people
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 are estimated by their
money
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 and cool things. There are opinions that it will harm
people
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's traditional values and customs, and it is not good. I agree with
this
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 statement for several reasons, which I will explain below.
Firstly
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,
people
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 really mostly pay attention to the material condition: how much
money
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, do they have any brand clothes or not, do they have a car, a house? On the one hand, these are requirements of a comfortable
life
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. Today so many stuff, which is a necessity to household,
for example
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, refrigerator, washing machine, furniture and other kinds of stuff for home, at least, houses and cars are rising in customs every year. Everyone wants their own home and another thing for
life
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. These things are expensive, so
people
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 work hard to earn more
money
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 to have enough
money
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 for
life
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. 
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 spend huge amounts of
money
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 to look rich, buying expensive stuff. To watch of
this
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 tendency, some
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
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think
Change the verb form
thinks
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 that they forget traditional values and customs. Because the
people
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 can not influence to changing world. They are mainly concerned about the quality of
life
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 and
being
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is
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 an important part of
this
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 world. They need to work hard and be more educated to be at the forefront. In conclusion, I agree that no one thinks about traditions while they are busy making a living and surviving.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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