IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?

#populations #centers #countries #beauty #spots #places #be
Growth in population
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural beauty as it is losing
is
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
sole
Add an article
the sole
show examples
 purpose. If we do not focus on the methods of resolving it we mind end up living in a
poluted
Correct your spelling
polluted
atmosphare
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
. The main advantage of protecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural beauty is that we can have
cleaner
Add an article
a cleaner
show examples
 environment for living. As the population is increasing day by day which is directly
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
 the
demonishment
Correct your spelling
admonishment
demolishment
 of green
areas
 as people are utilizing that land for
living
Add an article
a living
show examples
. If we focus on avoiding
Correct your spelling
destruction
distruction
Correct article usage
the distruction
show examples
 of trees we are indirectly helping humans to live healthy life
therefore
instead
 of abolishing it we should be more focused on saving
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
The tourism
Correct article usage
Tourism
show examples
 is the utmost benefit of saving natural
areas
 as most of the residents of the developing countries prefer spending their holidays in
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
 countries or cities because
this
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 them a feeling of attachment to
this
 world. A person feels
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
 and calm while watching green colour
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
 why most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
perfers
Correct your spelling
prefers
prefer
 to travel to the
areas
 with lots of trees and grass.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 Pakistan, become
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
tourists
Change to a genitive case
tourist's
tourists'
show examples
 attraction because of its northern
areas
. Because of the wide range of natural locations, verity of trees and high mountain peaks. One of the
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
 to
this
 problem is providing awareness to the locals about the consequences they can face after losing these spots. Tell people about the importance of
this
avtivity
Correct your spelling
activity
 and why
this
 is
baneficial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
.
Other
Correct quantifier usage
Another
show examples
 solution can be implementing some regulations like if someone tries to abolish these locations a heavy fine with imprisonment can be imposed. Another alternative could be
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should restrict urban
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 to be built nearby a natural location ask them to plan them in rural
areas
. There are
noumrous
Correct your spelling
numerous
 benefits of saving the beautiful locations in urban
areas
 so we should be more focused on saving them for better living.
Submitted by jamesbondop on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: