IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A
Correct article usage
The
show examples
revenue
Use synonyms
 from successfully
world
Use synonyms
-class athletes is higher than other professional jobs. Some people think
this
Linking Words
 is unreasonable while others agree with it. In the following paragraph, a reason to support my opinion will be discussed. Nowadays, many people have known about famous
sports
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as football, basketball, tennis and others the rest of
sports
Use synonyms
. So these
sports
Use synonyms
 have made an ordinary person
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be a superstar,
for instance
Linking Words
, Ronaldo and Messi who are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
successful
sports
Use synonyms
 professionals, which someone calls them with G.O.A.T that it is mean the greatest of all times.
Moreover
Linking Words
, not only footballers have earned a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 basketball similar
revenue
Use synonyms
 highly
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 Lebron Jame who is the most famous basketball player in
this
Linking Words
 time.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
revenue
Use synonyms
 of athletes is received from many ways which are supporter
such
Linking Words
 as a
sports
Use synonyms
 partner, advertising and a salary
thus
Linking Words
 they have a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is not only the job in
sports
Use synonyms
 which earn a great deal of
money
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 other professions can earn
money
Use synonyms
 more than them. Many people do not know about the top ten richest in the
world
Use synonyms
 which have not the athletes in the ranking.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they only have a business owner and investor in the top ten ranking of the
world
Use synonyms
 richest
such
Linking Words
 as Elon Musk (the richest in the
world
Use synonyms
) and Warren Buffet (the legend of stock) In conclusion, not only the successful
sports
Use synonyms
 professionals can earn a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
revenue
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 the other professions can do the same. In my opinion, every job can make a high salary or a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 which it is depended on their skills of them as to how they will do for wealth.
Submitted by porroramor_prem on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
What to do next:
Look at other essays: