Some people think that computer games can be detrimental for children's health. Others think that they can be great for education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is argued by some that playing
computer
games
can have harmful consequences
on children
's health, while
there are others who believe that computer
games
are beneficial in terms of education. In my opinion, I believe that computer
games
can badly affect children
's eyesight and encourage a sedentary lifestyle, whereas
different computer
games
can help children
learn and practice a new language
.
On the one hand, many individuals believe that having poor eyesight is one of the consequences
of playing computer
games
. To put it simply, there is a tendency for children
to spend their leisure idly playing computer
games
which might affect their eyesight, after spending a long period of time
facing the screen especially if it is in a dark place. Furthermore
, having a sedentary lifestyle is one of the consequences
of spending a long time
playing computer
games
which can eventually lead to different health problems such
as obesity.
On the other hand
, video and computer
games
can be beneficial for children
in terms of learning a new language
. Take for example
English, which is considered as the first language
in the world. This
is to say that while
children
are playing those games
with people from different countries they have to use English to communicate with each other. Thus
, many players will learn and practice English unintentionally which will help them in their future life.
Finally
, In my opinion, being addicted to computer
games
can have serious effects on children
's health both mental and physical. To exemplify, many children
might act or react aggressively due to
the violence shown in those games
. Despite the harmful consequences
, computer
games
are quite helpful when it comes to education in
Change preposition
apply
which
they can be a method to acquire a new Correct pronoun usage
apply
language
quickly and in a relaxed manner.
To conclude
, computer
games
can have many advantages and disadvantages at the same time
. I believe that it is important for parents to supervise their children
and strike the right balance between leisure time
activities and focusing on their studies.Submitted by s_syedy on
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task achievement
Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and support your main ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a well-organized argument overall.
task achievement
You addressed both views of the topic and provided a clear and comprehensive response. This is essential for a high task achievement score.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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