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Band 4.5

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#dangers #people #habit #society
The government and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors have always tried to educate
people
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 disadvantages of smoking.
However
, there are still numerous
people
enjoy
Correct pronoun usage
who enjoy
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 smoking despite all the risks
on
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to
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 their health conditions. In my opinion, one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 that keeps
people
 smoking is that it relaxes
people
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society, everything is fast-paced and stressful. Smoking provides a quick solution for
people
 to release their stress and anxiety.
Moreover
, it is not
costy
Correct your spelling
costly
cost
either
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or
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 difficult to purchase
Correct your spelling
cigarette
cigarettes
cigaratte
Correct article usage
a cigaratte
show examples
.
For example
, you can find
cigaratte
Correct your spelling
cigarette
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a cheap
price
 in every convenience store in Taiwan. It makes smoking easy for everyone.
Furthermore
, there are many scenes in movies showing actors smoking. It provides a cool and trendy image of smoking and leads
the
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apply
show examples
young
people
 to imitate the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, smoking is harmful to human beings.
For instance
, it can bring severe lung problems and lead to
a
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apply
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cancer.
Therefore
, the government needs to take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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 to protect their citizens by preventing them
smoking
Change preposition
from smoking
show examples
.
First
 of all, raising the
price
 of
cigaratte
Correct your spelling
cigarette
cigarettes
 and
vaper
Fix the agreement mistake
vapers
show examples
 can be one of the solutions. Once it is expensive to purchase, the
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
people
 smoking will diminish. If it still doesn't work well, banning smoking can probably be the most effective method.
For instance
, Taiwan has recently passed the law of
prohitbitting
Correct your spelling
prohibiting
 vaper. It has already reduced a certain
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of vaping
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 in the young generation.
On the other hand
, it
also
 makes sellers scared to sell it and
thus
 reduces the resources of purchasing vapers. To
Correct your spelling
summarise
show examples
summerize
Correct your spelling
summarize
show examples
, I believe that the function of releasing stress, cheap
price
, and the cool image of
cigarattes
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
 are the reasons why
people
 keep smoking even though it can cause
dieases
Correct your spelling
diseases
. To reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smoking
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, the
governemnet
Correct your spelling
government
 can raise the
price
 of
cigeratte
Correct your spelling
cigarette
cigarettes
 or ban smoking with strict rules. Comments:
Submitted by hsinyu.chang.katy on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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