IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

“A friend in power is a friend lost.” Do you agree or disagree with this statement by Henry Brooks Adams? Support your ideas with reasoning and examples.

#“a #friend #power #henry #brooks #adams #support
Numerous people argue that success changes people and the friend is no longer the
person
 he use to be. I do not agree with the statement made by Henry Brooks as it depends on
person
 to
person
 and not everyone is the same. In the following ,essay I am going to describe and explain how .
First
 of all, success feaver could change the attitude and social behaviour of an individual as after achieving something
person
 might develop a superior opinion about himself and
furthermore
 looks at others with a feeling of strong contempt. For ,example one article mentioned a story of a poor street singer who got recognition after one YouTuber made a video about
this
 talented but ignored street artist . He was extremely thankful to
this
 kind of sol for helping him and bringing his story in front of the world. In ,addition
this
 man received some money from a fundraiser. But ,
unfortunately
Add a comma
,unfortunately
show examples
this
person
 made an allegation to his saviour that he had stolen the donation.
however
 later he apologised for his lie. Despite the overwhelming glory of success, the foundation of that
person
 will never shak who displays strong ethics. Adding
further
 the man who has risen from the lower class. To illustrate the same dave gudhvi is a businessman who had left his 9 to 5 job to start his own business and after three years he is
Change the article
a
show examples
million ears and moved out of the slum. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 he
also
 gave his best friend a good post in his company who not only helped him with the startup but
also
 supported financially him during his dark times. In ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion I strongly opine that every individual is different so we can not state that after9 acquiring power everyone will change. It depends on the shared bond of friendship for the
moost
Correct your spelling
most
 part.
Submitted by singhabhay80909 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: