These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or cultural events. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowsday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
Newsday
, many people like to join
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities
or cultural events. While some argue that it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
to take part in these kinds of
activities
, I firmly believe spending
time
on sports or
cutural
Correct your spelling
cultural
activities
is essential that not only makes people healthy but
also
has entertainment
time
. In
this
essay, I will present my analyses that support my opinion.
Firstly
, people invest money
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
playing sports that help them to keep body fit because they do exercise frequently. The way they pay money for their
activities
will support institutions to maintain
facilities
Correct article usage
the facilities
show examples
of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
Consequently
, participants will benefit from
well equipped
Add a hyphen
well-equipped
show examples
clubs.
For instance
, almost Gym
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
will purchase
annual
Add an article
an annual
show examples
membership
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
for trainees that will fund
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their operations
such
as staff fees, maintenance fees...and they can operate in long term.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
sports, cultural events should be taken place by countries. That will create entertainment
time
for citizens which bring
relaxing
Add an article
a relaxing
show examples
time
for joiners.
In addition
, these types of
activities
will be educational characteristics which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
useful for
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
generation. Nations should hold
Cutural
Correct your spelling
Cultural
events yearly to create relaxing
activities
and protect culture.
Submitted by annaleo130395 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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