In some countries, young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is
a
young people’s little leisure Correct article usage
apply
time
and pressure to work hard in their studies. In many countries, especially those with competitive education systems, young people often have very little free time
and feel a lot of force to do well in school
. This
impact comes from different sources, like society, parents
, and the demands of modern jobs. Understanding why this
happens is important to finding ways to help students
balance their studies and rest time
.
One major reason is the focus
on academic success. In many cultures, doing well in school
is seen as the key to a successful future. Countries like China, Japan, and South Korea put a lot of importance on exams that decide who gets into top universities and, later, good jobs. This
creates a fear of failure, pushing students
to spend long hours studying and leaving little time
for rest or fun.
Parental compulsion also
plays a big part. Many parents
want their children to have better lives than they did, so they push them to excel in school
. As a result
, students
often have full schedules, filled with school
, extra lessons, and activities aimed at improving their academic skills.The modern job market adds to this
oppression. Jobs today require more specific skills, which makes students
feel they need to work even harder to stay competitive.
To solve this
problem, society needs to change how it views education. Schools and governments should focus
more on helping students
develop creativity, problem-solving skills, and emotional health, rather than just preparing for tests. Reducing the importance of exams and offering different paths to success can help ease the stress. Parents
should also
encourage a balance between schoolwork and personal interests, allowing their children to develop in a healthy way. With these changes, students
can have more time
to enjoy life while
still preparing for their future.
In conclusion, the pressure young people face to do well in school
comes from society, parents
, and the demands of today's job market. This
often leaves them with little time
to relax, which can affect their well-being. To fix this
, we need to change how we think about education and focus
on helping students
grow in different ways, not just through exams. By reducing the focus
on tests and encouraging a better balance between schoolwork and hobbies, students
can have healthier and happier lives while
still preparing for their future.Submitted by dnm.best on
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task achievement
Try to integrate more specific examples and case studies to substantiate your arguments further. This would help to solidify your points and provide concrete evidence for your claims.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the fluidity between paragraphs. Using transitional phrases and ensuring logical progression from one point to the next can enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt quite thoroughly, exploring different reasons behind young people's pressures and offering potential solutions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.