IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity generated by energy source in scotland for 20 years ago and last year.

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity generated by energy source in scotland for 20 years ago and last year.
#show #amount #electricity #energy #source #scotland #years #year
The
above highlighted
Add a hyphen
above-highlighted
show examples
pie
charts
describes
Change the verb form
describe
show examples
 the percentage of
Electricity
 produced in
Scotland
. The
two
 different
pie
charts
exhibits
Change the verb form
exhibit
show examples
 the
amount
 of
electricity
 produced by using seven different
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
energy
source
 in the past 2 decades and
last
year
 in
Scotland
. As per the
pie
Charts
 shows Coal had generated the highest
electricity
 with the
amount
 of 41.4 %
energy
Change preposition
of energy
show examples
 for the past 20 years. Gas was the
second
 main
source
 of
energy
 with average electric production of 22.3 % which is 19.1 % lesser than Coal. Nuclear was considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
third
 main
source
 of
energy
 to produce
electricity
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 total
amount
 of 19.6 % of
energy
. The remaining
other kind
Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
show examples
 of
energy
sources
 was able to
be produce
Change the verb form
produce
show examples
 less than 10 % of
Electricity
 ,where
oil
 was marked as the lowest capability to generate
electricity
 with
average
Add an article
an average
show examples
 of 2.1 % in the past
two
 decades. The record
also
 proved that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Scotland
 had used the same
source
 of
energy
 in order to produce
Electricity
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
year
.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 to the other kind of
sources
, Coal
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
generated the highest
amount
 of
electricity
 with
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
amount
32.7
Change preposition
of 32.7
show examples
 % of
energy
 in the
last
year
.
Then
, Nuclear
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
generated 26.4 % of
energy
 and the
third
 highest
source
 was Gas with
total
Add an article
the total
a total
show examples
amount
 of 21.7 %. The other
sources
 didn’t generate much
electricity
. The minimum of
electricity
 generated was by
Oil
 with
total
Add an article
the total
a total
show examples
amount
 of 4.0% of
energy
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 the past
year
. In Conclusion, the above
two
pie
charts
 gave
brief
Add an article
a brief
the brief
show examples
 explanation that
Scotland
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used the same
sources
 of
energy
 and the
energy
 produced was almost the same for the past years. Among all the different
sources
, Coal was the highest and
Oil
 was the lowest in producing
energy
 for generating
electricity
.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
source
 of
energy
such
 as Nuclear, Other renewables and
oil
 had increased
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 production in the
last
year
. Some of the
Source
Fix the agreement mistake
Sources
show examples
 of
energy
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 productivity
last
year
 compared to the
last
two
 decades.
Submitted by Habuna3016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, third".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, charts, electricity, scotland, two, amount, energy, source, year, sources, oil with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 7 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: