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Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity generated by energy source in scotland for 20 years ago and last year.

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity generated by energy source in scotland for 20 years ago and last year.
#show #amount #electricity #energy #source #scotland #years #year
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The above-highlighted
pie
Use synonyms
 charts illustrate, the percentage of
power
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 produced in Scotland. The two different
pie
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 charts exhibit the
amount
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 of
electricity
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 produced by seven different kinds of
resources
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 in the past 2 decades and
last
Linking Words
year
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. The first
pie
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 chart depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about
electricity
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 manufactured by
resources
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 two decades ago.
In particular
Linking Words
, coal
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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generated the highest quantity of
power
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 with 41.4 % . Gas was the
second
Linking Words
 main source of
resources
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 with average electric production of 22.3 % which is 19.1 % lesser than Coal. Nuclear was considered
as
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the
third
Linking Words
 with a total
amount
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 of 19.6 % of
energy
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. The other kind of
energy
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 resource was able to produce less than 10 % of
Electricity
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, where
oil
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 was marked as the lowest capability to generate
electricity
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 with an average of 2.1 % in the past 2 decades. The record
also
Linking Words
 proved that Scotland had used the same features for
producing
Replace the word
production
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 in the past
year
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, to the other kind of sources, coal
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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generated the highest
power
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 with the highest
amount
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 of 32.7 % of
energy
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 in the
last
Linking Words
year
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.
Then
Linking Words
, nuclear
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
generated 26.4 % of
energy
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 and the
third
Linking Words
 highest was Gas with a total
amount
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 of 21.7 %. The other source didn’t generate much
electricity
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. The minimum
energy
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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generated was by
oil
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 with a total
amount
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 of 4.0% of
energy
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 in the past years. In conclusion, the above two
pie
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 graphs gave a brief explanation that Scotland had used the same sources of electric current and it had generated almost the same for the past years. Among all the different sources, Coal was the highest and
oil
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 was the lowest in generating
power
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other
resources
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 of
energy
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such
Linking Words
 as Nuclear, Other renewables and
oil
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 had increased their production in the
last
Linking Words
year
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. Productivity
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased
last
Linking Words
year
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 compared to the
last
Linking Words
 twenty years.
Submitted by Habuna3016 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, third".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, power, amount, electricity, resources, year, energy, oil with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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