IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that business,academic and scientific information should be kept private. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #business #information
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A group of people have views about keeping
information
 privately with regard to the
business
,academic and scientific. While declaring scientific
information
 publicly may have some drawbacks,I consider that sharing academic and scientific
information
 is effective for the usage of the community. It is believed by some that
business
,academic and scientific
information
 should be unreachable for the citizens of countries.The supporters consider that announcing
information
 can cause some catastrophic results in all 3 fields.The reasons behind that are the accessibility of
information
 by terrorists in science,negative outcomes of publicizing
information
 in the
business
 world, as well as reachable academic data,
can
Correct pronoun usage
which can
show examples
 worsen the situation more than it has seen.While these could lead to negative consequences,I do not agree that we should
therefore
 be deprived of all
information
 in all these fields.
However
, I consider that academic and
business
information
 ,not scientific is more necessary to be shared with society in terms of being informed about changes throughout the world.Why academic
information
 should be open to the public is because of making conditions easy for the researchers of learners , whether they are students or not.As regards
business
 data, it is crucial for investors who want to access all
information
 about companies for making comparisons before investing in those companies.
Nevertheless
,scientific
information
 may be accessed by terrorists easily ,if shared publicly,it does not give the right not to access some scientific
information
 by the people of countries. A case in point is the exploration of climate change. By getting through
information
 about drawbacks of it,they can be involved in prohibiting its negative results. Whereas,
information
 like nuclear power,should be kept at closed doors. In conclusion,I highly believe that all detailed
information
 referring to academics and
business
 should be open to the public,with the exception of scientific research where some should be applied some restrictions.
Submitted by leyla_mirzeyeva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: