IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People succeed because of their hard work; luck has nothing to do with success. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #work #luck #success
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In
this
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 sophisticated era, many people think that success completely depends on luck.
Although
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, I believe that hard
work
Use synonyms
 is the important aspect to be successful in their career.
Hence
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, I completely agree with the above notion. In
this
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 essay let us discuss my perspective in detail.
Firstly
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, working hard is the key factor to becoming a successful
person
Use synonyms
 in our lives.
In addition
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,
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 every
day
Use synonyms
 would master us to reach our goal. Despite
this
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, Neeraj Chopra is the best example of
this
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 notion, he won the gold medal in javelin throw in the 2021 Olympics.
However
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, his achievement makes the entire country proud.
Hence
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, hard
work
Use synonyms
 plays a pivotal role to be successful in our life.
Thus
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, hard-working helps us to become successful at any sort of time.
Secondly
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, success is not merely a short-term goal it takes long-term to reach our destiny. Indeed, some people think that working 2-3 hours in a
day
Use synonyms
 is sufficient to become successful in their trajectory. But, the fact is
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 more than 8 hours every
day
Use synonyms
 will lead to an achievable
person
Use synonyms
 in their life.
For instance
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, the world billionaire Elon Musk works more than 16 hours a
day
Use synonyms
makes
Wrong verb form
making
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 him the richest
person
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 in the world.
Hence
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, working
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 period would always make us
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
become a successful
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in our lives. In conclusion,
although
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, hard
work
Use synonyms
 always enlightens us to grow better in our career and luck is not a matter for
this
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.
Furthermore
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, working hard and the amount of time spent to
work
Use synonyms
 is imperative.
Submitted by nagarajpolasani on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • succeed
  • hard work
  • luck
  • success
  • view
  • opinion
  • essential
  • factor
  • chances
  • temporary
  • advantage
  • sustained
  • combination
  • develop
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • crucial
  • opportunities
  • individuals
  • make the most of
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