IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #children #age #outweigh
Nowadays,
people
 tend to delay the
time
 of having
children
 more than in the past. The reason could relative to the perspective of social
burden
 and financial
problems
, and I will discuss the disadvantage of
this
 trend from the aspect of
age
 and nursing
problems
.
Firstly
, the social
burden
 is part of the reason for the question.
People
 are more likely to build up their career and success to satisfy their security in society. In
this
 case, they are more willing to spend
time
 at work rather than having a
child
 to earn as much as possible. Without the insurance of finance,
people
 are hard to raise
children
 and give them an appropriate life.
Secondly
, Having
children
 means another
burden
 for life expenditure since it needs to deal with the cost from nursing, previous education and illness. Having
children
 in their later
age
 based on a solid financial foundation could be a choice for those
people
.
However
, having
children
 at a later
age
 can increase the risk during pregnancy. Scientists had already approved that women over 35 who are pregnant have a large chance to lose their baby during their pregnancy. The risk
also
 shows in their
children
 who are more likely to suffer from various diseases
such
 as disorders, which makes the disadvantage of raising a
child
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 older
age
 more obviously.
Moreover
, those old
age
 parents could face another problem is a lack of patience and energy for caring for a
child
, since the physical
problems
 start to emerge with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ageing. The potential risk in their parents could cost a huge amount of
time
 to keep and maintain the health rather than spend
time
 on
children
. Overall, I believe that
people
 have a
child
 at a later
age
 because of the social
burden
 and financial
problems
. and
this
 trend could be disadvantages more than it is advantages. due to
age
 and nursing
problems
.
Submitted by kevinchiua on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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