In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people why might be the case do you think this is a positive or negative situation
The preference of family to
buying
the condo has any reason.they want their most of time spent with family rather than renting their mansion to others. Wrong verb form
buy
This
is a debatable topic and I am going to delve into my points in upcoming paragraphs.
To embark on most of the mass is want
to live with their family with peace and full privacy. Most of the time all members of the family are busy at their jobs. They Fix the infinitive
to want
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
don't
enough time to spend with their loved ones. Probing Verb problem
do not have
further
, in a rental house,they can't get much privacy and they have to compromise with this
environment, for example
, in India,most of the people lived
happily with their family in their own house and Indians prefer buying a house rather than living in rental properties.
Wrong verb form
live
However
, in shared rooms or rental properties, people have to share the kitchen, rooms and bathrooms. Next to it,these types of lifestyles cause hygiene issues and also
encourage the
disease-causing bacteria to spread and cause chronic diseases like cancer and asthma. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, in Europe, around the year 2001, drastic diseases encountered
Add a missing verb
were encountered
half
of the European cities with the harmful infection named the plague. And,its main cause is Change preposition
in half
shared
properties Correct article usage
the shared
garbage
and unhygienic used materials. Change preposition
of garbage
Thus
, it is important to live in own home with proper care.
To conclude
,folk who live in their own shacks are more stable, clean and healthy. While
families who lived in rental homes experienced a lot of difficulties. So it is a positive thing that the public is willing to live in their own homeSubmitted by bikramrahi97 on
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task response
The essay addresses the topic of owning a home vs. renting one. However, the introduction is weak and does not clearly state the writer's position. The conclusion is also brief. To improve, provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction and conclude by summarizing key points and restating your stance.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed. Paragraphs lack smooth transitions, leading to a choppy progression of thought. In addition, some examples are not fully developed or relevant to the main argument. To enhance coherence and cohesion, use linking words/phrases to connect ideas and ensure each paragraph contributes cohesively to the overall argument.
