IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however ,say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required.discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures
The issue of improving public
health
 has grown in importance over the past few decades and some
people
 think increasing the number of
sports
facilities
 can rectify the situation. Others believe that
this
 is not enough so other measures should be taken. on the one hand,they are who subscribe to the view that lack of
Sports
facilities
 is the reason for
people
's
health
 problems.
Therefore
, the best that we can do is, provide proper
sports
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 so as to attract
people
 to exercise.
However
, I do not find
this
 argument convincing because there are numerous
people
 who have access to high-quality
sports
facilities
 but still they do not show any interest in them.
Thus
,providing
sports
facilities
 is not enough to compel
people
 to leave their sedentary lifestyles
On the other hand
, many commentators justifiably argue that we should think of more effective methods in order to improve public
health
.From their point of view,
people
 should be encouraged to have a healthy lifestyle.They believe that the majority of
people
 are oblivious to the harms of unhealthy eating habits and the value of eating nutritional Foods on a daily basis.
Consequently
,government's should raise public awareness about these matters.
As a result
,
people
 are more likely to take care of themselves. In conclusion,
although
 an increasing number of
sports
facilities
 is a good way to improve public
health
,it is not adequate and other actions should be taken in order to motivate
people
 toward a more healthy lifestyle and that's only possible when
people
 have more awareness of their unhealthy habits.
Submitted by banan_reza on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: