IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people are working longer and longer hours. What are the reasons and effects?

#people #hours #effects
Nowadays, working overtime than standard hours of
work
 has become popular. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the reasons for
this
 trend and relevant consequences affecting overworked
people
. It is obvious that there are various reasons to explain why
people
 are working more than before. In the age of competition, individuals are striving1 for a raise or promotion, which will improve the quality of their life. The evidence is that
people
 tried to meet the manager’s expectations and finish the workload for the day, so they have poured more
time
 than previous to get their goal as quickly as possible. Should they not
work
 overtime, they might face financial problems, because living standards are increasing day-to-day.
Therefore
,
people
 who earn a high salary are more likely to provide quality education, healthcare, or other essential facilities to their families. In spite of some positive points given about, devoting
time
 to
work
also
 has an adverse impact on employees’ health and family relationships.
To begin
 with,
people
 who
work
 longer hours are able to suffer from various health issues
such
 as stress, anxiety disorders.
This
 lead to making more errors and impact progress operation in their workplace.
Besides
 that, relationships among their parents, spouse, relatives gradually decrease. In fact, they spend most of their day working
instead
 of taking care of family,
therefore
, they lack harmony and a warm atmosphere in their life. In conclusion, working longer
time
 are becoming a trend today, I understand that
people
 try their best to have a better life.
However
,
people
 should control their working
time
 to healthy
work
-life balance effectively.
Submitted by nguyenminhman21691 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: