IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #museums #art #galleries #objects #works #computer
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It is believed by some people that
museums
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 and
art
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 galleries would not be required as historical
objects
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 and
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Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
art works
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artworks
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 can be viewed with the aid of a
computer
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. I strongly disagree with
this
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 statement because
museums
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 and
art
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 galleries have a significant role in the education system and they
also
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 provide
information
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 about culture and history in a more sophisticated
way
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 than
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computer
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the computer
a computer
show examples
 does. In the following paragraphs, I will exemplify my viewpoints.
Museums
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 are
heritage
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the heritage
a heritage
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 of any nation as they
represents
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represent
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 the different cultural aspects and
reveals
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reveal
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 history.
One
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 can understand the advancement of culture and changes
occured
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occurred
overtime
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over time
show examples
 by visiting a museum,
also
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 the old
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Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
art
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artwork
show examples
work
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 reveals that what kind of ideology took place in the ancient civilization and what resources were used to make them.
For instance
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, an individual gets
information
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 about the weapons used in the old times in wars.
Also
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,
one
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 can learn about the lifestyle of people in ancient
time
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times
show examples
 by looking at the different kinds of things which have been preserved, like attire and many household things. It not only enhance the
knowledge
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 of an individual about the particular civilization but
also
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 helps in doing research on it.
On the contrary
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, it is undeniable that
computer
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also
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 gives
the
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apply
show examples
information
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 about
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artwork
show examples
art
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artwork
show examples
work
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 and historical
objects
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, but
then
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 it would be only on the screen and more about theory. With the help of
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computer
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computers
show examples
 and
internet
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the internet
show examples
;
one
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 can access
this
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knowledge
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 from any part of the world. It is unlikely to get the practical experience of all those
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Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
art
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artwork
show examples
work
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 and
objects
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 which have been found in the
museums
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.
Furthermore
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, visualisation has an imperative role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 memory,
one
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 can learn and memorize
the
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apply
show examples
things in a better
way
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 by looking at the real object rather than looking at its image. To elucidate, many scholars learn about history and
art
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 via
computer
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 but those who visit the
museums
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 will be able to comprehend it in a far better
way
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.
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Computer
Add an article
The computer
A computer
show examples
 can sometimes present many images of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 single thing which is
Correct your spelling
quite
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quiet
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quite
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 confusing as it depicts the
information
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 which
have
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has
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 been uploaded on the internet by people.
Moreover
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, the piece of
information
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 which has not been uploaded would not get acknowledged by the reader.
Thus
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, it results in
gap
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a gap
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 in
the
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apply
show examples
knowledge
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. To conclude,
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computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
 is a good source of learning historical
objects
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 and
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Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
art
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artwork
show examples
work
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 but
museums
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has
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have
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own importance to illuminate
this
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knowledge
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 in a better
way
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.
Additionally
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,
museums
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 provide
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 practical experience.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual
  • digital
  • online
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • cultural heritage
  • physical experience
  • immersion
  • local tourism
  • economy
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